Day In Day Out

Softly As I Leave You

2010-09-13T19:43:00.000-07:00

So.....

Why can't we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together? I guess that wouldn't work. Someone would leave. Someone always leaves. Then we would have to say good-bye. I hate good-byes. I know what I need. I need more hellos.
~Charles M. Schulz

I posted for the first time on this blog on May 2,2010. Seems like ages ago really and a good bit has changed in my life since then. I am nowhere near the same person that I was then. I have made new friends and have lost a few. I have moved into new directions at my job. I have travelled more than I ever thought I would have had the chance to.
I have finally come around to the idea that blogging is indeed dead or dying. I read a very few blogs myself now. At one point I had upwards of 15 on my reader but now its less than 5 that I check on a regular basis. And I hardly ever comment anymore on any of them.
Twitter has replaced a good portion of blogging. Facebook is still pretty strong of course....
Blogging is slowly slipping away.....And thats ok.
I used this blog for the past year to document my weight loss journey. I have had amazing support from you all and appreciate it. I have managed to lose about 60lbs in 13 months and keep it off. I will continue to lose weight and get into better shape...thats a promise not just to me but to you all also. But things have changed and there is really no need for my blogging voice to be heard anymore...and that too is ok.

So thanks for the memories and the comments over the past couple of years....its been a blast. Lets do it again sometime....
Peace

Glory Glory to Old Auburn ...

2010-08-28T06:12:00.000-07:00

So.....

I have once again been travelling a good bit with my job. Spending long periods of time away from home. Eating on the go etc but still managing to keep things respectable. I have still only managed to blog here and there and I apologize for that one. For those of you out there that DEPEND on my blog...SORRY. For those of you out there that could care less....You are welcome!!!

Theres a thing in most sports where a team gets ahead by a sizeable margin and changes its game plan. Instead of playing to win.....the team starts playing with a different goal in mind--not to lose.

Sometimes, that strategy backfires. The squad that was trying to hold the lead finds itself playing cautious and hesitant. Its hard to maintain momentum when youre back on your heels.

And when that happens... a seemingly sure win sometimes slips from their grasp.

The team snatches defeat from the jaws of victory.

That analogy has been weighing on my mind this week since the glorious return of college football is literally right around the corner...about how it pertains to the shift from goal-oriented weight loss into maintenance (or near maintenance). Instead of a single-minded focus on what we need to do... we try to do just enough to get the job done. And too often “just enough” isnt quite enough...
Dont get me wrong though....I am not anywhere near full time maintaining but with loss comes a certain level of looking ahead and at least trying to maintain so as not to gain again...Its a cycle that you have to be aware of.

Four weeks ago... in an effort to combat a what I was thinking would be a huge post-work travelling gain...I went on offense and managed to lose almost 4lbs.

Then in the following weeks I was travelling again.... I shifted the game plan back to a more defensive mindset...and the scale bumped up a tad. 2lb gain last Monday.

Theres an old sports saying... “The more you sweat in practice, the less you bleed in battle.” With a minor tweak it works for weight loss too...

The more right choices you make during the week, the less you need to worry on the scale.

Time to get my head in the game....

It Was A Very Good Year

2010-08-11T19:35:00.000-07:00

So.....

Its been one year for me on Weight Watchers.....Its been a great ride

War Eagle

2010-08-05T22:04:00.000-07:00

So.....

On January 1, 1929 the California Golden Bears football team faced the Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets at the Rose Bowl in Pasadena. Midway through the second quarter Cal center Roy Riegels picked up a fumble by Techs Jack Thomason.....just 30 yards away from the Yellow Jackets end zone Riegels somehow got turned around and ran 65 yards in the wrong direction.

Teammate and quarterback Benny Lom chased him screaming at him to stop. He finally caught up with Riegels at Californias 3-yard line and tried to turn him around... but he was immediately hit by a line of Tech players and tackled back to the 1-yard line. The Bears chose to punt rather than risk a play so close to their own end zone but Tech blocked the punt and Georgia Tech scored a safety giving them a 2-0 lead.

Speaking of going the wrong way.... I have had a slip-up on the weight-loss front. Is been summer...work stuff has been hectic and it has had me running here and there and missing meetings etc. After not going to a meeting or weigh in for 6 weeks I had only gained 4lbs but a gain is a gain and I have worked WAY too hard to lose what I have..
I have had some back issues to deal with that has kept me away from some working out...and I wrongly thought that if I stayed somewhat active chasing the folks in the group at church then I would be alright. I have tried to watch and keep track of most everything but as its been said before "old habits die hard".
I know my limits but this diet thing...and my drive to be healthier is and will be a permanent park of my life. I cant take a break really...its a "new normal"

Anyway..... “Wrong Way” Riegels (as he came to be called) was so distraught by his mix-up that he had to be begged into returning to the game for the second half. He turned in a stellar second half performance including blocking a Tech punt.

The example of how the distraught Riegels was persuaded to pick himself up... return to the field and play so hard during the second half is sometimes used by motivational speakers to illustrate overcoming setbacks.

Sadly ... “Wrong Way” Riegels team wound up losing in that national championship game.

I plan on losing next week too.

And I pick Auburn to win the National Championship this year ...just saying .

Cant Go Back Now

2010-07-29T22:00:00.000-07:00

So.....

Friday Morning is here ...its 12am dead on and I thought why not write a blog post before getting into bed to watch some TV...

I remember when I got my first comment on a blog ....it was fun. Its still a little fun to get those comments. I dont always comment when I should on other blogs but I do read. But if we are being honest we LOVE getting a comment. It validates our efforts.

I can not pinpoint an exact reason why I do this. People enjoy it?
I have so many grammatical errors...yet no one corrects me. Perhaps they enjoy the content. They see the passion I have towards my new goals in life. I do not write to please all. I think I write with some kind of passion about things that mean a lot to me ...

But I do blog. I do write.... I am random and you never know what is going to come out of my mouth. I might blog about this or that but its always heartfelt

I do not mind screwing up....I do not mind saying something stupid. I mind not saying anything at all.

So why do I blog? Same reason as you.....

Because I can!

PS- I am dreaming of a white Christmas ....Goodnight all !!

We Are The World

2010-07-26T11:03:00.000-07:00

So.....

I have been missing for a couple of weeks(ok months) but here I am back again and ready to get things going on a somewhat regular schedule. I have been travelling, working on days when I should go weight in and in general been off track since May. I promised honesty from the beginning...so I am trying to keep with that. I have gained and lost over the last couple of months and have been proud of myself for maintaining what I have lost but the blogging has suffered and it really does help keep me accountable.
I know I was missed ...right? RIGHT ????
This post is about weight loss of course but its about blogging as a whole too ...

I have started and deleted about 50 posts it seems and everytime I thought I had something that I wanted to finish with a PUBLISH POST hit I just couldnt seem to bring it home to my satisfaction but I started thinking about things again as I was going through the blogs im following and deleting out the ones that havent updated in forever.
Most of of us blog to some degree but I know its a bit of a downer when we dont update on a regular basis. To be honest.....

...Its kind of depressing.....I see so many of us out there writing “This Is It!” and “Never Give Up!” posts that were immediately followed by.....crickets.
I am the first person to stand before the judge and say "Guilty as charged your honor"
Twitter has done a tremdous job in killing blogging I suppose...And I am a guy who Tweets and I will admit that I enjoy the back and forth nature of twitter. The almost instant access you get in the limited form of converstation. But you can only tweet so much about your weight loss journey. Or your trip to the Bahamas. Or your kids getting their first haircut. Or an upcoming special event like a wedding or your decision to go sky diving.

I am surprised to find that there are quite a few whose stories I am really into for a time in the blogging world but then folks stop blogging...But out of sight, out of mind and new more active voice come along to fill that void.

The sad thing is that I suspect that these folks havent just dropped the ball on their blogging but perhaps on other parts of their life also...We are at the end of the day creatures of habit and if they are anything like me they have lapsed into that mindset that says if Im not thinking hard about what im eating, the calories dont count. If im not weighing myself regularly, im not gaining weight.

Im afraid that we are going to wake up one day and realize that we have lost a lot of ground on our/my journey, that we have slipped back down that slippery slope where climbing is such a slow, tough climb but sliding back can happen as quick as a hiccup.

I have a good bit of weight I still want to lose and I am going to continue blogging about it like my success depends on it....because in a very real sense I believe it does.
This week I start going to weigh in on a new night at a new time. THe class has several men in it and I was advised that perhaps they could offer some support that those lovely ladies at the other meeting cannot.
With the first of August coming up I will be approaching my one year anniversay with Weight Watchers and I have to say its been a great ride. I have lost a good amount of weight but as I said before...I have miles to go.
And let me add this ...My health insurance premium has really gone through the roof in the last year and today I called around to perhaps find another company to handle my needs...I could not find one that would take me based on what I weight when factored with my height. I accept their rules and their policies but it really pissed me off and kinda started a fire under me to "SHOW THEM" that I can lose this weight and get insurance from them eventaully...

My busy summer is not over yet....In less than three weeks I head to South Dakota on a mission trip and will be gone for like 10 days. I am excited about the chance to serve but also dreading the trip at the same time...if that even makes sense.
Anyway folks ...I am back and looking forward to new and exciting things ...

“There's a choice we're making
We're saving our own lives
It's true we'll make a better day
Just you and me.”

My Back Pages

2010-06-26T18:49:00.000-07:00

So......

Its been a busy couple of weeks for me and due to that I have found myself not getting around weighing in like I should. I am still working the points of WW and getting in excercise when I can but I would be lying if i did not say it had been a tough couple of months...specially the last few weeks. Add to that an aggravation of an old back injury and you have me just a little blah. I am still comfortable with what I have dont in almost 11 months of being on Weight Watchers but am still looking for that change in momentum. Any suggestions dear readers ?
Just for fun though I have included something I found on someones blog this morning ...enjoy.

Found online today ....

Signs You Have Hired a Bad Trainer

Makes you do jumping jacks in the parking lot for an hour

Keeps calling you “Bootylicious”

Eats three caramel apples during your session

Lots of self-done tattoos

Not sure what a “bicep curl” is

Dresses in an official Star Trek uniform

Tells you last job was as Wac-a-Mole operator for traveling carnival

Thinks “Gluteus Maximus” is “that dude in the Gladiator movie”

Spends first thirty minutes of session trying to convince you that professional wrestling isn’t fake

Asks you to hold the funnel while he pours tequila into water bottle

Claims to have gotten personal training degree from The University of Harvard

All former clients have passed away due to mysterious circumstances

Loves to encourage you by speaking “baby talk”

Holds sessions in his trailer

Sits down on your stomach in the middle of your bench press

Schedules six people at the same time

Offers to be paid in Crystal Meth

Do You Want To Know A Secret

2010-06-15T21:57:00.000-07:00

So.....

Shhhhhhhh......

Im going to tell you a secret. Its a big one to...Some of you out there maybe already know it but others of you dont.....

Sometimes Im really terrible at this weight loss business. I mean for the past couple months I have really struggled with the ups and downs. I have managed to maintain my weight for the past 4 months and when all is said and done I have gained three pounds of the total 61.5 that I have lost. Not bad.
I have let being sick keep me from doing right and as we speak I am suffering what can only be called HORRIBLE back problems all incurred while PUSHING a box across a table at work...Yes, pushing a box. Also add to that I watch Diners, Drive Ins and Dives and Man VS Food all the time and seeing some of that stuff makes me want to take a road trip and hit all the diners and dives.

I seldom if ever track my calories. I sometimes have a loose way of going about this dieting business. I believe that if I maintain a active lifestyle incorporating a great deal of exercise...I should be able to eat what I want, as long as what I want to eat isnt a wheelbarrow filled with carrot cake or something equally unhealthy. I am not the perfect picture of Weight Watchers .

And to be honest I dont have a real coherent plan on the exercise front....other than to try to get some exercise every day. I try to mix it up… weights, walking, elliptical(sometimes)....its pretty much whatever I feel most like doing that day. Except for days when I dont feel like doing anything in which case its the thing that I feel like not doing the least.... if that even makes any sense.

But heres the thing: im not as overweight as I was a year ago. Ive still got work to do, but things are looking better.

So…

Im going to keep it in overdrive, keep powering forward for all that im worth.

I hope you will, too, because weve still got work to do.

Happy Birthday

2010-05-27T21:25:00.001-07:00

So....

Another year older.

I get reminded alot from my amazing, wonderful, loving, supportive friend group here in Montgomery that YES, I am indeed the oldest in the group. I am almost 9 years older than some and as little as 4 years older than others. I get all the " wow are you that much older than us " jokes...
I never take them serious. Never have and never will.
But approaching this birthday has been a little different than ones in the past.
I turn 36 today and that puts me closer to 40 than I am perhaps comfortable with...

But this past year I decided to get serious about me....
I decided to put my health and well being first for really the first time in my life.
I decided to be happy in my decisions.
Its made all the difference. Almost one year ago I was weighing the heaviest I have ever weighed in my life...Today on my 36th birthday I am happy to report that I am 60lbs lighter and am on the right track.
I will eat some birthday cake at some point this weekend. I will grill out with family and maybe go off points a little bit but thats ok....because I celebrate not being where I was last year this time.
I know that you can celebrate special events with Weight Watchers but what you cant do is take off weeks at a time and celebrate the whole month of your birthday and still expect results.
I know I cant make excuses for my excercising and then expect the scales to be kind to me. Its something I take serious and look towards the end of the summer and knowing that perhaps I will be 10-15lbs lighter than I am now.
Its a daily affirmation for me to look ahead and imagine what will be...

I celebrate knowing that I am taking the steps to hopefully celebrate the next 36 years or hell the next 72 for that matter.

And as Frank Sinatra used to say
" May you live to be 100 and may the last voice you hear be mine "

Salude !

Ice Ice Baby

2010-05-24T13:28:00.000-07:00

So....

I found this online ...enjoy.
Also ...

Starting Weight - 381 lbs

Todays loss/Gain - 0.00 lb

Total Lost - 57.5 lbs

Todays Weight 323.5 lbs

What You Sometimes Want To Say At Your Weight Watchers Meeting

“Weight Watcher’s frozen pizza is delicious… if you like fake-cheesy cardboard.”
“This is what I get for losing 25 pounds? I’ve won better stuff playing Skee-Ball.”
“I believe that scale needs to be re-calibrated and I should know because I’m a full-time scale calibration technician.”
“Dip my fork in salad dressing? Lady, that’s just crazy-talk.”
“Is there a Weight Watchers iPhone app that shocks you when you try to eat pie?”
“Yes, that’s a five-pound gain, but I have a good excuse: there was a weekend in there.”
“A Big Mac only has fourteen points? Let’s ride!”
“That’s right… this week I’ll be using my ‘Get Out of Weigh-In Free’ Card.”
“I suppose it’s just a coincidence that “leader” rhymes with “eater.”
“We’re watching a movie at this week’s meeting: ‘Diethard with a Vengeance.’”
“Weight Watchers yogurt is fantastic… for grouting tile.”
“I can’t have gained weight! I haven’t eaten in 96 hours…”
“Order a pizza with no cheese? What kind of sick maniac are you?”
“No, I didn’t track all my points, but I did DVR every episode of ‘Top Chef’.”
“DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND? EVERYTHING’S SO DAMN DELICIOUS!”
“My family really let me down. They just sat there and watched me eat that can of Crisco.”
“I just don’t think “rice cakes” should be allowed to use the word ‘cake’ in their name.”

Mozart's Sonata for Piano No. 11 In A Major

2010-05-19T19:47:00.000-07:00

So....

Stages of Dieting (kinda like the grief ones ya know )

Denial -
At my heaviest I remember that I could look at myself in the mirror and at certain angles and with the proper lighting convince myself that I looked pretty much all right. Sure I could stand to lose a few pounds, but I didnt look half bad....even though I felt like day old crap most mornings. I felt like I was okay... and then Id see a snapshot taken of me at a party and my self-image would deflate like a soufflé during any type of baking I try.

Anger -
I cant tell you how many of my diets were initially fueled by feverish anger… getting mad at myself at my weakness.....at my inability to get my act together. But heres the thing about my anger....it burns white-hot for a short period.... but its simply not going to last....not something that can carry you over the long haul.

Bargaining –
Ill just have one more reckless weekend, one more bust a gut....free-for-all before I really really and I mean really get serious about it. Thats what I told myself over and over and over. Its funny how those “last meal” moments dont really get the job done as a diet booster… well.... not all the funny when you stop and think about it.

Depression -
Overwhelming feelings of hopelessness and levels of frustration bitterness and self pity. Thats what a lifetime of not being able to get the deal done generally brings about......You feel down and out....lower than low. This is the darkness before the dawn.

Acceptance -
I doubt that theres a single one of us that doesnt know exactly what we need to do to lose weight and get more fit. We know it....We know it like we know our own names.... yet we stumble and struggle to eat the right things.... do the right things. Then one day (if were very lucky) it clicks and it all comes together for us... in our heads and in our hearts... and we realize how all the parts and pieces fit together.... how energy effort and enthusiasm can come together to create great circumstances. That is when the magic happens...

I dont really know how appropriate it is to "borrow" the stages of grief idea for a post about losing weight and getting more healthy... but I will use anything I can get my hands on...rants and rhymes even riddles–to help drive these points home. Ill use anything and everything at my disposal to keep pushing myself (and you I hope)to a better place.

Wherever you are on this journey I hope youre finding yourself making progress. I hope youve left behind your anger and self-doubt. I pray youre done with the bad bargains and the pity parties.

I hope you are in a good place... ready to face your challenges and your opportunities.....your future head-on !

We can do this.

Accept that fact and lets go.

I Got A Name

2010-05-14T13:12:00.000-07:00

There is a difference in complaining and being truthful
There is a difference in seeing and doing
There is a difference in whining and standing up for yourself
There is a difference in blaming and accountability
There is a difference in struggling and failing

So....

Here I am.
Still stuck in the middle of my weight loss journey. Frustrated ? No....Upset ? Nah....Wondering when things are going to kick over and pounds start dropping again ...Yes.
In the past 3 months I have lost and gained the same 7lbs. Up and down. Up and down. Up and down. Its a cooling off period. Its a plateau. Its your body adjusting. Its you not counting points. Its you not excercising right. Its you having more beers than your should. Its You.
I did two things today in regards to my journey. The first is that I weighed in at Weight Watchers and had gained three pounds. The ladies there are incredible. They genuinely are concerned When you gain. They want to see you succeed. They know whats its like to come in there week after week and step on those scales. They know what its like to go out to eat with friends and wonder if this little excursion will derail you in some way. They know what its like to have folks you are around tell you that "going off once wont hurt you" They know that statment is full of poo.
I totally agree that you should eat what you want but in moderation and that you should count it. But when you are faced with temptations day after day...its those things that derail you. Folks who tell you it "wont hurt" are usually fairly thin little waifs of folks. The could eat China for dinner, burp and then have New Zealand for dessert. And thats fine....but I cant do that and lose weight. I need the structure of points, counting, weigh ins, support of fellow members and friends. I am beating a dead horse here for two reasons A. I hate horses and B. This is a LONG JOURNEY for me. I dont have a wedding to make in July and want to get into something nice...I am not going hang gliding tomorrow....I am not jumping out of a plane for fun anytime soon (but one day I will ). One day at a time for me....
The second thing I did today was something that I have talked about for weeks now and make it official today. I walked into Planet Fitness and talked to their personnal trainer. Robert is his name and first impressions are as follows ...

He really seemed interested in helping someone achieve their goal.
He was intense but not Jillian or Bob intense.
He was in AMAZING shape but not freaky looking.Just solid.
He knew what he was talking about in regards to equipment.

I was impressed with him and we stood there for about 35 minutes talking....The more I talked the more I liked what he was saying. Heres the kicker ...The first things he does with you are free. He shows you this and that. How to run machines and use them to get the best results for your efforts. He said that for some folks thats all they need and they are good to go...
Some he said then move to another level and want him to help them even more and for a very reasonable price he can take you there.

I start Tuesday morning at 6am with him and am very excited to see what happens next in this journey.

And by the way ...the bottom picture above was made about two years ago at my church for Senior Recognition Sunday with one of my youths ....The top picture was made about two weeks ago for this years Senior Recognition Sunday...I can already see a difference in 8 months of hard work ..

Wish me Luck

Starting Weight - 381 lbs

Todays loss/Gain - + 3.0 lb

Total Lost - 57.5 lbs

Todays Weight 323.5 lbs

Consider Yourself

2010-05-12T08:39:00.000-07:00

So....

Theres nothing quite as fattening as stupidity.

I really dislike tracking my eats because I feel pretty strongly that Im trying to make changes in my diet and myself that transcend keeping up with every crappy calorie that passes my lips.

I want to feel confident that I can live my life making sensible choices and eating a little more mindfully.

Its a nice sentiment...... but easier declared than delivered.

I was blaming my recent scale slowdown on my lack of dedicated excercise time, but the simple truth is that a pipe with a lot of little leaks in it can do as much damage as one big leak. Maybe even moreso because those teeny-tiny leaks are harder to notice and alot more difficult to contain.

Portion control, sneaky snacks, grab and go munchies, theyve all played a part in my recent weight woes, but what Im really struggling to correct are the late night THINGS that arent necessarily unhealthy.... but can sabotage me on the scale. Those are the issues im trying to rein in this week.

Just trying to be a little bit smarter about how I make my way through the day.

Ive come a long long way.

Just As Though You Were Here

2010-05-06T17:33:00.000-07:00

So.....

Every so often, its important to take a step back and take a deep breath to tap into that reserve of inner strength we all possess and rededicate ourselves to this mission thats in front of us.

Thats where I am right now.

Ready to push myself just a little bit harder, ready to double down and get serious about my goals.

Because I tend to sing, dance and joke so much in this space, its probably difficult for you to tell just how serious I am about this march toward fitness this surge toward a better life. I kid around with you because… well because thats what I do but these are my aspirations and objectives:

I will never again let myself be defined by my greatest weakness.

I will be smarter than I look and stronger than you think I am.

I will strive to eat foods that are more local and healthy, less processed and chemical-filled.

I will never again sell myself short.

I will be honest with you in this space, but more important… I will be honest with myself in every other space I occupy.

I will work out with zeal and zest, I will exercise with purpose and passion.

One day in the future, the only time I will shop in the Big & Tall section will be when Im getting something for the kid from the wrong side of the tracks who goes to the same private school as my kids and is really good at football and might one day play at Ole Miss.

I will do more tomorrow than I did today.

I will have bad days here and there, but I can assure you that the good ones the ones where I eat on plan where I fight the good fight where I keep my mind on my mission and my mission on my mind... those days will far outnumber the bad ones.

I will not falter and I will not fail.

This is my life and I plan on living it to the fullest.

Borderline

2010-04-22T20:52:00.000-07:00

So....

Okay..so yesterday...
it was all about food and triggers for me ....I thought about it a good bit...
For a long time I assumed I ate at times because that is how I handled my emotions.
I didnt go any deeper than that.
And for some people that is as deep as it goes. Food is their drug of choice.
Someone a good bit smarter than me once said
"The fat was an unfortunate by product of my food addiction"
I am paraphrasing here. The fat wasnt or isnt doing anything for people except causing folks pain.
Which is bad enough.
There are a lot of obese people for whom this post does not apply..
I am only addressing it here because it absolutely DOES apply to me and maybe a few others I know of.
But what if your fat...is not just an unfortunate byproduct....TRICKY huh!
You dont generally find this out till about mid way through your weight loss struggles.It will present itself in stealthy ways.
Say..a certain number.
If there is a certain number that you approach and then Boom you bloe it
EVERY.SINGLE.TIME.
red flag.
Your subconscious mind is sabatoging you...dollars to donuts.
200 is a number I often see in relation to this phenomenon.
Or for some it could be 250 or 300...That number means something to you.
What?
That is a question only you can answer..
But here is the thing.
Sometimes it isnt a number.Sometimes its a happening.
This is the reason that for a long time...I couldnt pinpoint my trigger.It happened at all different weights.
Yes some of it was diet fatigue.
Some of it was wanting to eat and being hungry.

I tried to laugh it off.I fought through it.

You may not know the magnitude until you pull the food away.
This can make people not even try.
They fear trying because then they will have to pull this crap out and deal with it.
And when it comes right down to it.I don't think they fear the deprivation of limiting calories.
I think we all fear the knowledge of why we were using food in the first place...
and having that knowledge...then having to fix the crap thats wrong.

That can be life altering.
That can be very scary.
Obese people aren't stupid.

Your life isnt structured the way it is out of laziness.
There are reasons that are very logical.
The question is do you want change enough to upend your whole life to achieve it.
The pain of staying the same becomes worse than the pain of becoming who it is you know you are capable of being.
It may mean losing something...or someone.
It may mean that nearly everything other people love about you is a lie.
I am here to say irregardless of the pain it may cause you or others...It is worth it.
Its better living truthfully.
It is better knowing yourself.
It is better fixing the ugly parts.
Airing them out.
Kicking them in the @ss...and finally living a whole life.
I know because I am doing it.
And so can you.
It HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH WILL POWER.
It is making the choice to change and accepting whatever consequences those choices bring.
It is worth it...and so are you.

Open Your Heart

2010-04-20T20:29:00.000-07:00

So....

I am willing to change
I am loving and lovable and I find love everywhere
I am one with the power that created me and this power has given me the power to create my own circumstances
I listen with love to my bodies messages

Goodnight ...

Time Well Wasted

2010-04-17T11:40:00.000-07:00

"...The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today. Let us move forward with strong and active faith."
President Franklin D Roosevelt... From his last speech that he never gave on April 12,1945.

So....
After being gone and out of pocket for the past three weeks I am back with good news to report. Easter Sunday food...food and beverages on my recent trek to Western North Carolina and a little bit of emotional eating thrown in there I am happy to report that I did not gain a pound !! Did not lose either but thats Fantastic to me ...so the numbers

Starting Weight - 381 lbs

Todays loss/Gain - 0.0 lb

Total Lost - 60.5 lbs

Todays Weight 320.5 lbs

Tick tock, tick tock.

Do you feel the rush of time slipping by like I do? I felt it more acutely when I was at my heaviest(60+ pounds ago and still at it ) but even now I heardrums of the calendar and sometimes I feel incredibly cheated by the waste of all those lost days.

Thats exactly how I feel now....that days and weeks and months (and lets faceit… years) spent wrapped up in that uncomfortable and unfashionable suit of being overweight was time that I squandered and have no way of getting back.

I mourn those spring days when I couldnt run around and enjoy the breezy springtime... pity those once in a lifetime moments with my family and friends where I sat on the side and watched good times being enjoyed and rethink all those times I let my weight make me feel like less of a person than I was. I deeply regret that I felt defined by my greatest weakness.

Im thirty six(almost)now and once you start making that turn towards the back nine you grasp with a little more clarity the fact that we dont have all that much time on this earth. William Penn said "Time is what we want most, but... what we use worst." I think it sometimes takes a bit of gray hair up top of our heads to fully get a handle on that.

I play footbball(shocking I know) with some young guys at my church from time to time...and they often get tickled (and somewhat perplexed) by the fact that I can move as good as I can ... I tried to explain it to them like this: “Were all at Disney World on a bright sunny day. For you its 10 o’clock in the morning and youve got all the time in the world to do anything you want. For me its thirty minutes before the gates close and I want to get in every ride I possibly can.” I dont know how much longer I can run with the young dudes but I do know that at this point in my life I am now playing catch up. If I get a chance to play ball with them...I take it. I got alot of playing to catch up on...
I feel that way about the big picture too. About life. Theres quite a bit I still want to accomplish and up til now this weight has been a big roadblock holding me back. Maybe it has been for you too. For too many of us its the anchor that makes us give in to the hardships and the hopelessness. It makes life seem unfair when really weve simply been unfair to ourselves.

Thats hard to accept: we did this to ourselves.

I dont say all this to bring you down.....to remind you of your own mortality or your own shortcomings.

I say it because its time to shake things up time to remind ourselves that although we may have a very few number of days in this joint we have an infinite amount of possibilities a limitless number of things which we might accomplish if we set our mind and our heart and our will to it.

I have been thinking over some other major changes in my life that will possibly dramatically effect/affect(I never know)all all aspects of my life. My relationships, my job, my income....but most importanly My future.

I dont know if Ill achieve everything I want to achieve or accomplish everything I set out to do from here on out. Chances are....I wont.

But heres the thing.....it wont be the weight that stops me anymore.

I have said it over and over on here ...this is a brand new day my friends. A new day filled with all kinds of promise all kinds of possibility. Theres not a diet tip or weight loss secret I could share with you here that would be of any more use any more important than this simple phrase.... times a’wastin.

Get busy and get yourself in check. Take the steps you need to take to reclaim your body your health your life. Its the most important thing youll ever do because its the foundation for everything else you want to do.....everything else you want to be.

Do it today...because tomorrow will be here in less than a blink and you dont want to be that person who looks back and wonders what they could have had...what they should have done...what they would have been.

It's time to get going.

Tick tock, tick tock.

The Prayer

2010-04-06T18:13:00.001-07:00

So....

No weigh in last weekend due to work schedules. So as of today I still consider myself as staying the same.
The good news is that this afternoon I had the chance to go walking with a great friend and during said walk we jogged a bit....Yeah, I jogged.
Say a prayer for my legs and knees ...

I Whistle A Happy Tune

2010-03-28T20:00:00.001-07:00

So.....

Who else out there is trying to wrap their minds around the fact that Easter is in ONE WEEK ?!?!?
I have mentioned before that sometimes working in a church takes something out of celebrating significant holidays. The Christmas season is just a blur at times....Working in a church you tend to get invited to EVERYTHING!! And while the sentiment is very very nice it sometimes leaves you feeling stretched very thin throughout the time from Thanksgiving to New Years. During the Lenten season you are helping plan events for Lenten Sunday services and on the nights of those services you dont really have a chance to slow down and actually enjoy said services.
Palm Sunday and Holy Week will also be a bit of a blur with end of the week breakfasts,Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, Easter egg hunts at the church Saturday and then a full day on Easter Sunday.
I LOVE my job ...i really really do but again sometimes be so directly involved with things takes a bit of the punch out of things....Anyway.

I weighed in on Saturday and for the first time since i started this journey something happened....I did not lose and I did not gain. So I will call that a good weigh in!!

So to date

Starting Weight - 381 lbs

Todays loss/Gain - 0.0 lb

Total Lost - 60.5 lbs

Todays Weight 320.5 lbs

I also spent most of Saturday outside at the air show out at Maxwell AFB here in montgomery. Spending all that time outside has sent my sinues into overdrive. I mean its amazing how out of whack they are today ...
I hope yall all have an amazing Holy Week.

Gentle On My Mind

2010-03-25T20:31:00.001-07:00

So.....
I found the list of things below and they made me chuckle. It goes along the line that you play mind games with yourself about food and excercise ...Please enjoy

You = Godzilla. Baby carrots = screaming Asians.

Give yourself a point every time you don’t eat a corn chip.

You’ll get a better workout from a highly motivated personal trainer, so before
your session, inform your PT that you just keyed up his or her car.

Think of yourself as a real-life Ms. Pac-Man; you should eat healthy food (like cherries) and go running every day (so ghosts don’t catch and kill you).

Every time you get an email, drink an 8 oz. glass of water.

Imagine that fresh ripe succulent fruit is something delicious instead.

Work out with your imaginary friend Sergio and his pet Chihuahua Miss Tizzy.

Run a mile every time you use a swear word.

It’s more exciting if you think of your salad as actually being in 3-D

Penny Lover

2010-03-23T09:16:00.000-07:00
So........

This will be a short blog since I am at work and needing to get some other things done besides blogging but I did have a free moment .....
I lost this past weekend...3lbs!!
So to date ....

Starting Weight - 381 lbs

Todays loss- 3.0 lb

Total Lost - 60.5 lbs

Todays Weight 320.5 lbs

I am working on a longer post and hope to have it up soon ...yall have a great day

Taking Chances

2010-03-18T21:15:00.001-07:00
So.....

Its been a couple of busy weeks for me....Really a couple of busy few days but no excuse for not posting last weekend after my weigh in. I gained ...again....and as I have said it happens during this long process. I am not discourged. I am not down but I am wondering "whats next"?

So to date....

Starting Weight - 381 lbs

Todays gain- 2.0 lb

Total Lost - 57.5 lbs

Todays Weight 323.5 lbs

I have done some reading and of course all signs point to the fact that I am on a plateau of some kind. I am counting my points. I am making pretty decent decisions about the food that I eat. When I do go off the grid I do my very best to figure the points and to figure them into my daily allowance. I am excercising not enough,but I am....

My body has finally figured out that I am doing something different and has FINALLY reacted to it ...I understand.

My next step is to see the folks at the gym and consider hiring that personnal trainer. For a few months at least.

I need to jump start things again and this is what I am going to do ....

Wish me luck

A Hard Days Night

2010-03-10T20:39:00.000-08:00
So......

This is hard work, isnt it?

Day in and day out.... battling against all types of temptation, against time and good intentioned people, against the inner demons that would see you fail in this quest to remake yourself.
Each day is its own challenge..... that is what Ive found as Ive baby-stepped my way through nearly 9 months of eating a little less... eating a little healthier and trying to make exercise a daily part of my life.
Some days I feel like I am on top of the world and that continuing my good work will be nothing short of playing a simple child like game. Every meal satisfies me in some way and every time i do excercise in some way I feel so much better.
I try not question my plan or myself.
I make my way through the day with pride and with purpose.I am on track.Those are the good days.
Then there are the times where I wake up wondering when the backslide is going to happen.... when that messed-up part of my brain will begin dragging me back into the hole that I sometimes find myself looking into....
I get hungry and feel weak. My excercising feels like wading through wet cement.
I wonder if I’ve got the strength and the stamina to keep doing what Im doing.
I feel lost, alone, afraid......Those are the better days. Crazy huh?
They are the better days because I work my way through those patches.... and I wind up a little stronger in the process.
I get through those days and I realize that there is no stopping me now....
No quitting on this journey.
No going back this time......I am on a great adventure.
I dont know how things are going for you right now.... but I suspect you are having the same mix of good days and not-so-good days as I am......times when it seems easy as pie...times when it seems tougher than nails.

I encourage you to take the good times as they come and enjoy just how good they can be. Rejoice in the wonderful sensation of saying “no” and pat yourself on the back for all the good decisions you make during the course of a day. All of this can apply to anything in your life ...for me its food and my journey with it.
Celebrate the incredible feeling of a well earned sweat or a mini-goal attained.
As for those rough times? Grit your teeth and get through them with as much grace and good will as you can manage. It does not have to be pretty....doesnt have to be textbook.
Just stumble through it as best you can and keep in mind that no one… and I repeat no one… gets through this without suffering setbacks and detours.

It just DOES NOT happen.

I firmly believe that we will make it to where we are headed......I know I will and I suspect you will too. We have simply come too far to turn back..... experienced too much to be satisfied with giving anything other than our very best effort.
No matter what kind of day it turns out to be, I have faith that we… you and I … will make it through it just fine.

Long Nights

2010-03-06T21:13:00.000-08:00
So........

It was bound to happen I guess.....Usually if I know that I will be out of town or busy on Saturday and not able to make it to a weigh in then I will go on Friday. Well, this week I found myself busy on both days and was not able to make it Friday or Saturday. This is a first for me....Missing a weigh in !
We had our HUGE yard sale at the church on Saturday and it required me to be there all morning for that.....add to this that on Friday I was running around getting stuff for said yard sale and well I just did not make it by Weight Watchers.
It happens. I have to admit it was kinda weird not weighing in for the first time since last August 7.

If you know me then you know that I DO NOT SLEEP. Have not for years ...anyway this past week has found me with a cold of some kind and that has added to the problem. On Thursday night I took some medicine that WIRED me up instead of soothing me into a NyQuil slumber.
I think I got about 3 hours of sleep and add to that on Friday night I slept at the church and got another solid 3 hours.
Its now 11:20pm on Saturday night and you would think I would be dead asleep but nope...I am sitting here updating my blog.
So is my life I guess....

I will have updated numbers next week though ....thats a fact jack.

Dont Think Twice, Its Alright

2010-03-03T19:04:00.000-08:00

So.......

Im scared of food.  

I dont mean that Im terrified that Im going to get cornered in a dark alley and accosted by a pack of little debbie cakes.

I dont wake up  in a cold sweat worried that there is a carrot cake beneath my bed waiting for an opportune time to pounce.  

Im just afraid of the power food has on me. Even the idea of food messes with my mind at times.

In the past there have been many reasons for my overeating, and very few of them had anything to do with hunger or the need to fuel my body.  

I ate because I was stressed.  

Because I was bored.  

Because it had become a habit and it was just something that was a part of who I was.  

Because it made me happy... or at least that's what I told myself.

When I look at photographs of me at my worst, I question the idea that a true transfer of happiness was ever part of the equation....something inside me told me it would make feel better even though every rational part of me knew it would only make me feel worse.  

I dont trip up daily like I once did.... but I still stumble enough to give me pause... still fear dark clouds even though I keep a mostly  sunny outlook on this journey.  

But I like to think that its turned into a kind of healthy fear....like being afraid to gun it through an intersection in front of  a speeding train or touching an electric wire to see if the juice is turned on.  

Im scared of food and Im afraid Ill always be afraid.  

However..... I can live with being afraid easier than I can live being the way I was.

It Is Well With My Soul

2010-02-28T19:47:00.000-08:00

So......

It was one of those weeks last week.

A Birthday party for a dear dear friend. A night spent celebrating at our favorite place to sit down for a meal and drinks. A night spent telling stories...laughing....getting to know your closest friends even better. This brought up a question later in the week though ....In 20-25 years when we are sitting around with the grown up Harper, Lily,Campbell, RML and any other kids that are to come...Will there be a Sinclairs ? Odds are NO there will not be ....The places that our parents enjoyed are gone with the wind....Igors(the old good Igors, not that crap on the bypass that is not anything like what Igors was in the day ) The Elite(yes my parents ate at The Elite...yours ?) Dale's Penthouse (pre-fire)....Will we be sitting at some new place talking about "remember when we used to sit at Sinclairs till closing?"

So anyway back to the week that was ...

A week of not excercising like I should have....no regrets. I decided when I started this journey that I would not have regrets of any kind.....I would stumble, I would fall on my face from time to time but at the end of the day if I regretted anything then I really believe that it could and WOULD lead to more failure. It would lead me to get into a game of second guessing....It would lead me down a dangerous path of WHAT IFS....

I recognize that I am human and will stumble from time to time and thats what makes this time different than the other times....I am more informed in my decision making. I am wiser (with age) or at least I really think I am ....

I gained this week and for about the last two months I have been stuck in a cycle....gain two one week and then lose three the next....gaine one and then lose two. Up and down back and forth.

Am I upset at myself ....Hardly. Am I frustrated....a little.

I am very certain that very soon I am going to break free of this cycle and get back onto losing on a regular basis until I hit another low point in the cycle....Its part of the game. I get it .

So the numbers tonight ....

Starting Weight - 381 lbs

Todays gain- 2.0 lb

Total Lost - 59.5 lbs

Todays Weight 321.5 lbs

I am looking forward to my next week which actually begins my 30th week going to Weight Watchers....

Have a great week yall !!

Anchors Away

2010-02-23T09:28:00.000-08:00

When Spanish Conquistador Hernando “I carry diseases yall have never heard of ” Cortez landed in Mexico in 1519 he gave a startling order: “Burn the ships.”

Some historians argue that he just didnt want to pay the high docking fees at the marina but most have come to the conclusion that he was committed to his mission that he didnt want to allow his men (or himself) the option of returning to Spain... the option of failure.

I have started thinking thinking that this approach to my weight loss might be a good idea ...... Im getting rid of excuses that get in my path, and Im chasing away temptations that I know are just too difficult for me to resist.

I used to buy snacks for my nephews that, more often than not, I would wind up munching on while watching TV.

Burn the chips.

The fridge at church is sometimes stocked with sweet tea and creamy dips.

Burn the dips and tea.

I found myself eating sweet right before bedtime.

Burn the treats.

It seems that sometimes I find myself making poor choices at restaruants.

Burn the menus.

Not one person out there is made of steel........ We cannot resist temptation indefinitely.

What we can do is take away as many of the hurdles and enticements that get in the way of our weight loss success as we possibly can.

If you say you can eat those sweet delicious foods on just the weekend or maybe when out with friends at dinner you are setting yourself up for trouble....When you start making deals with yourself over food, it’s time to burn the ships.....Your family wont like it if you quit buying ice cream? Well heres the big shocker .....theyll get over it. My nephews are crushed because I stopped bringing home their favortite cookies..... those boats have been torched..... along with the excuses. And you know what ? My nephews are now enjoying eating the low fat ice cream and weight watchers cookies and snacks. You learn to change and adapt especially when you see that you need to do it for your well being.

Maybe more important than the temptations youve got to take away the excuses that make taking care of yourself less of a priority than taking care of all the other areas of your existence,all the other duties and responsibilities that fill your days.

This is your life, and its high time that you give yourself the opportunity to be the person you want to be, that you know deep down you’re on the road to becoming.

Burn the ships.

Get rid of anything and everything that could possibly cause you to fail.

Burn the ships.

Take every excuse off the table, and leave every cop-out and justification out back with the trash. Leave yourself no choice but to succeed… and dont be surprised when thats what you do.

Against all odds, Cortez’s men conquered the Aztecs and were victorious where others had been unsuccessful for six centuries.

Its hard to open the fridge door when your backs against the wall.

Baby You Belong To Me

2010-02-19T11:09:00.000-08:00
So..........

Went today to weigh in since I have work stuff tomorrow morning and am pleased with my loss of 4lbs this week. And according to my numbers here I am now above the 60lbs lost mark AND below 320 in total body weight.
I am pleased....Especially considering that I ate pretty crappy at the Homecoming thing at church last weekend.
Anyway ....downwards I go...
Have a great weekend

Starting Weight - 381 lbs

Todays loss- 4.0 lb

Total Lost - 61.5 lbs

Todays Weight 319.5 lbs

Too Much

2010-02-18T19:09:00.000-08:00

So....

I found this list of IFs online ...enjoy.

If you dance at a concert and the band skips, you might have a weight problem.

If your double chin has a double chin, you might have a weight problem.

If your favorite thing to eat on cookies is frozen cookie dough, you might have a weight problem.

If you direct-deposit your paycheck to the break room vending machine, you might have a weight problem.

If they recognize your voice when you call to order a pizza, you might have a weight problem.

If you’re a member of the Ham-of-the-Month Club, you might have a weight problem.

If you have to iron your pants on the driveway, you might have a weight problem.

If you put gravy on your Raisin Bran, you might have a weight problem.

If you eat dinner at a fast-food joint and then swing by the drive thru on your way out of the parking lot, you might have a weight problem.

Sometimes.....this blog seems to take on a life of its own. It seems to write itself and other times I find something online that I feel like sharing and I post it here as I have done with the IFs above.

And sometimes its odd how often people will comment that they really needed that laugh today or really needed that call to arms today or really needed that swift kick in the butt today.

Here is my justification for the silly posts..... we are in this for the long haul ... you and me.

Were going to be here for quite some time… or at least thats the plan.

I dont want to bark at you or lecture you or even inspire you seven days a week but I wouldnt mind you thinking about this journey were on EVERY DAY. Some days, I think it’s okay that we just laugh at ourselves and laugh at this crazy situation that weve somehow put ourselves in.

To me, this isnt one of those “you gotta laugh to keep from crying” situations either..... It just feels good to laugh sometimes and when youre on a long trip like we are.... when youre pushing yourself to do something that feels even bigger than you are........it’s VERY nice to enjoy a light-hearted moment every so often.

Goodnight my friends....

Almost Like Being In Love

2010-02-13T18:47:00.000-08:00
So.....

I gained today. It happens. You lose. You gain. You worry about it and you forget about it. You move on. Kinda like snow....You worry it might be bad and roads will close and you think the end of the world is upon us but tonight...hardly a flake of snow remins. Meanwhile the Mid Atlantic states are still digging out of the storm that hit LAST weekend.
So I gained today and honestly I cant put a finger on what was the main thing that caused me to go up this week. I know I am stressed with work right now because of a big event coming up tomorrow (Feb 14) so maybe it was the stress and the fact that I did not excercise this week like i should have. No excuse really ...I just gained.
It seems for the last few weeks I have been caught in the 50-60lbs lost range. Thats a good place to be caught I say !!
Anyway ...Moving on
So to date ....

Starting Weight - 381 lbs

Todays Gain- 2.0 lbs

Total Lost - 57.5 lbs

Todays Weight 323.5 lbs

Thats all i got tonight folks ...I am whipped for some reason

Dont Panic

2010-02-08T20:26:00.000-08:00
So.....

I think I give people the wrong idea.
I have mentioned before my motivation to getting into better shape being a picture that was made of me back in August.
Yet that was not the only thing that motivated me .....
The hardest part about being obese is that I never really appreciated the great life I had and have.
I always short-changed myself.
I never really appreciated my wonderful friends or great family I have.
I never thought about the friends that truly cared about me or having a the job that pushed me...and made me take the lives of others into my own hands.
I never appreciated that McDonalds had a healthy menu, or that most restaurant booths are made for people up to 300 pounds.
I never appreciated that Dillards carried pants that were size 52 and I never appreciated that if I were to ever email Weight Watchers they would have given me a membership just to see me lose weight(its true).
Why would I. I was 381 pounds. None of that applied to me. none of that catered to me.I made my Hell.
I never blamed myself for all the crap that I ate.
I never blamed myself for the poor choices I made......It was societys fault....BUT once I started to lose the weight, things started to make sense.
I truly appreciated the beauty of my life.

My job has gotten better.
McDonalds is not Satan.
Airlines did not hate me.
Booths are better than tables....

I do have advice you have not heard.....
I can help some and annoy others.

1. Society is not to blame for my or your weight gain.
2. Gaining weight one week is not a lifetime failure.
3. My life and yours is better than you think.
4. There are always people who are heavier than I am.
5. There are always people who are lighter than Iam.
6. The meanest people are the same ones that will hug you when you succeed.
7. Saying NO is sexy.
8. There is no such thing as a limited time food. The McRib has been around for years and chocolate candy or chips and dip will always be there to comfort you.
9. After losing weight, you...me..whoever will have to look at yourself in the mirror and be happy.
10. I have to want it.....
and number 11....Do not short-change yourself....always refer to number 3.

Goodnight my friends....

Baby, Its Cold Outside

2010-02-06T20:19:00.001-08:00

So.......

I was supposed to be out of town this weekend. I was supposed to be in Baltimore. Yeah, Baltimore....the town that saw epic snowfall from Friday to Saturday night. The area digging out of nearly 30 inches of snow.

My flight was cancelled so ....no go for me. But I have a plane ticket and a chance to go back perhaps after Easter. The picture at the top is the street in front of the house where I would have been staying .....

I had not planned on weighing in this weekend. I was not able to get over to WW on Thursday to do it so I had resigned myself to the fact that for the first time in 6 months I would miss a weigh in....I will refer you to my opening lines as to why I was able to be in Montgomery and make my weigh in today.

I lost 1.5 lbs.

So to date

Starting Weight - 381 lbs

Todays loss- 1.5 lb

Total Lost - 59.5 lbs

Todays Weight 321.5 lbs

I have a scratchy throat also ...Goodnight my friends.

No Ceiling

2010-02-01T21:17:00.000-08:00

So......

It’s a myth that all overweight people suffer from low self-esteem more than the rest of the population.

In fact tests given to overweight folks have proven that obese individuals are just as mentally healthy (or unhealthy) as anyone else..... Theres no support for the idea that overeating is generally associated with poor mental or emotional health.

Quite the opposite, many slim people who were interviewed said they wouldn’t have the courage to go out if they were obese. They would simply stay at home and hide their faces.

Think about it..... you get up every morning... get out of bed and face the world head-on.

You accept strangers stares, children’s cruel comments and friends “helpful” advice.... all with a smile and grace.

You've recognized the inner demons that have put you in the state youre in, and you're doing something about it. You are getting your life in balance and perhaps providing emotional support for others who are also getting their lives in balance.

Here’s my point .... we are not weak.

Here’s my second point (and this may hurt a little):

We have got to get stronger.

We have got to get stronger because this is a long uphill climb and it will take its toll on you... both mentally and physically.

We have got to get stronger because time is not on our side, and Life will jump up and get in our faces.

We have got to get stronger because folks can look to us and maybe just maybe see hope and they wont be satisfied until we reach your goals.

We have each got our own ways of fighting this fight our own methods to this madness.

I joined Weight Watchers.... You may cut carbs... she may count calories.... he may swim 50 laps a day, folks may play basketball .

There is no one way...no right way....to get there from here.

But I often ask myself this simple question...Am I really doing all I can to succeed?

If you can honestly say yes then God bless you....But I would guess you would be in the vast minority on this one....I know this is going to sound maybe crazy coming from a guy who has been touting his weight loss for the past 8 months but I am still not doing EVERYTHING I could be doing ....I need to be more serious about this if I am planning on finding the untimate success.

I need to shift it into high gear and start getting it done and I mean like today.

The real results aren’t going to happen for me until I buckle down even more . Until I go all in... get serious.

There is a lion on my right bicep area of my arm. Its a tattoo of course.....but some days that lion in my heart, and he’s roaring and pissed at the fat that I’ve added to myself over the years by being stupid and lazy. My being overweight roars at me everyday.

I yell at myself at times at the choices that allowed me to put my own health and future in jeopardy.

So I am going to start listening to this lion more ...he is roaring at me every day filling my spirit with determination and reminding me that this is my time. He is pushing me to run crazy with this weight loss thing and to jump at this AMAZING chance to reclaim my life.

This journey is not for the weak....it is for the strong-willed. I know I have what it takes to lose another 60 or 100 pounds......Why in the world would I not ??

AND...my title tonight was a suggestion from my great friend Clay...former youth and wonderful friend. Thanks bud for your continued support.

I ask you to judge me by the enemies I have made.

2010-01-30T16:12:00.000-08:00
So......

First of all a slight move away tonight from my regular blog post titles to pay tribute to my favorite president of all time. FDR's bday would have been today ...The title is one of his quotes

My friends...I am very tired on this saturday evening. This blog will be SHORT...
Had a long two days at work but I did manage to sneak away today and go weigh in for the week ...
I lost .5 lb this week ...a low number but a loss is a loss is a loss. I get losing .5lbs but its still a weird number for me to wrap my head around ...I will take it but its just out there for me ...

So To date

Starting Weight - 381 lbs

Todays loss- .5 lb

Total Lost - 58 lbs

Todays Weight 323 lbs

Thats all I got today except ...Goodnight my friends.

God Save The Queen

2010-01-28T21:27:00.000-08:00
So.......

Blogging is dead. No doubt about that ....Its as dead as a doornail. Going the way of the Dodo bird...Extinct. Many folks in my friends circle have predicted this for a while now and yup...Its official now.....but I am thinking it's just dead amoung my close friend group because I read tons of other blogs that are updated on a regular basis.
I am sad because I really enjoy blogging during the week. So my struggle is this ...do I admit defeat and join the bandwagon and shut down my blog. Put up a "Closed" sign on the door and ride off into the Twitter sunset? Here's my thing...in a short while something will come along that will of course replace Twitter. Its going to happen, right ?
I am sticking around for a couple more months to see what happens .....

Oh, it is probably the amount of sodium you had!"
Salt!!

I am as guilty as the next person for sometimes finding a reason behind my gain or my lack of motivation to excercise.
Folks blame salt... Not the decisions, but salt...
To lose weight you have to be honest.
To lose weight you have to not make excuses.
To lose weight dedication is important, but even more important is making sacrifices.

There are gyms all over montgomery .
There are nine million free weight loss websites to help motivate people.
95% of food has nutritional information on it.
You Tube has tons of workout videos.
Libraries have diet and fitness books.
We can cry and whine and tell ourselves life is not fair.
Guess what, you are right.
We can say the economy sucks. Guess what, it does.
But before we blame salt or lack of water for our weight gain We first have to blame ourselves.

See, losing weight is not hard.
It is not hard once we realize that we can do it. Once we realize that it is okay to make a bad decision, but lets not fool ourselves into thinking that decision was a good one.

Be honest, look at your decisions from the past week.
And go from there.

My Life Would Suck Without You

2010-01-26T18:59:00.000-08:00
So.....

With this post I now have more blog posts than what I weigh.

I am happy with the progress I have made. Yay.

Rank Strangers To Me

2010-01-23T20:23:00.000-08:00
So.....

Sometimes I sit down to write this blog and think..."Who really wants to hear me go on about my weight loss?" but then I remember that this is part of my accountability so here I sit .After a week of worrying about all the crap I put in my body at Lake Junaluska last weekend I actually went on Friday and weighed in and managed to lose 2.5lbs!
So to date....

Starting Weight - 381 lbs

Todays loss- 2.5 lb

Total Lost - 57.5 lbs

Todays Weight 323.5 lbs

Also I am pleased that to date I have lost 4 pants sizes. I got new pants at Christmas and am taking them this week to have them taken down one size. I am looking forward to the day in the very near future when I can go get pants at a place like Sams. Sams, you say ? Yes Sams...they have name brand stuff and its incredibly cheap...But their sizes only go up to a certain point BUT I am almost there....
Some older dress shirts are starting to hang weird and not look right when I am wearing them...
These are all VERY GOOD THINGS ...

Having said that I found this on a site and thought it was funny so I thought I would share tonight ...Enjoy.

Childhood obesity represents one of our greatest health challenges, so with that in mind, I’m suggesting a few edits in some of the most popular children’s literature to address the subject head-on…

The Adventures of Skinny-the-Pooh
Not-So-Little Women
The Very, Really, Really, Enormously Hungry Caterpillar
The Runaway Belly
Guess How Much I Love Ham
The Cat in the Fat
Where the Wide Things Are
Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Diet
Oh, The Pizzas You'll Eat
The Velvetta Rabbit
The Little Engine That Could… But Never Did
Anna Rexia
Mike Mulligan And His Steamed Veggies
Pippi Wrongsnacking
Furious Gorge
Amelia Bread-elia
Binge to Terabithia
Chocolate’s Web
The Liar, the Scale, and the Wardrobe
The Boxcarb Children
Sarah, Plain,Tall & Fat
James and the Giant Pouch
Roll of Belly, Hear My Cry
Fatilda
Stuart Not-Too-Little

A Foggy Day

2010-01-20T18:40:00.000-08:00
So.....

Its been a busy busy week for me so far....I was out of town last weekend with my youth group on a ski trip to western North Carolina. We had a blast but heres the deal...I am exhausted!! We got back Monday and usually by the following day aftr a big trip I am back to normal(whatever normal is) but not this time....I have been dragging my tail all week.
Not sure why I am not bouncing back but each day is the same ...TIRED !
Add to that we are planning our 60th Anniversay and Homecoming at Dalraida UMC and I am knee deep in helping to plan all that...should be a great day but by the time it gets here I might be sick of homecoming stuff....BUT I am pleased to be doing anything I can to help out ...I really do love my job !

I have been in the process of a massive detox of my body after eating the food served to us at Lake Junaluska last weekend ...Oh wow that is some terrible processed food if I ever say any ...
Just nothing good about it ....I did manage to eat salads but the rest of the meals we had were pretty terrible. Been lots and lots of water this week but I have a bad feeling about weigh in this coming weekend ....not sure why but its just a feeling. Your body knows.

Someone sent me this the other day ....You have to write down 17(random I know) things that make you happy in a secret sorta way ...Here goes ...

Archie Comics from the 70s and 80s
Old telephones. Heavy loud ones.
Walking when its bitter cold outside.
The Beverly Hillbillies.....My all time favorite line on that show was when the Clampetts went to England and Jethro wanted to be a knight..."What's your name?"..."Jethro"....What's your surname?"...."Sir Jethro" HAHA
Pack Place.
Making up lyrics to well known songs.
The smells of Thanksgiving day.
A well delivered joke.
Giving a good gift.
Making folks laugh.
Looking at old pictures.
Picking up my nephews from school.
The british accent on my Garmin GPS.
Old christmas decorations.
McRae Meadows at Grandfather Mountain.
New shoes or boots.
Being at the beach during cooler weather.
If you got anything you would like to share ...Please do ...

Anything You Can Do

2010-01-15T19:05:00.000-08:00

So.....

Weighed in today since I will be out of town till Monday afternoon. I managed to lose another pound this past week.....so as it stands today

Starting Weight - 381 lbs

Todays loss- 1 lb

Total Lost - 55 lbs

Todays Weight 327 lbs

Yeah ...I am pleased with that ....

One of the things I keep getting asked over and over and over again is how hard is it to do without things that you like ??

Well, its difficult cutting things that are fatty,greasy,cheesy and gooey from your diet. It really is difficult for those of us who love our food like that...

I mean who wants to go without ?? Specially in America....We are taught from an early age that the we have the world on a string and if you want to hit up Taco Bell or Krystals late and night and fill your bodies with heart aching and stopping crud then go for it ...I will eat this today and worry about it tomorrow ...Right ?

Its difficult to modify and cut but not impossible!

Sweets, salty snacks, sugar filled sodas....Sometimes you find that its easier and better to go without than to try and fit them into your new lifestyle. Especially early on in your weight loss journey.

Some folks say that they cant deprive themselves of the things they love....I would say that we are depriving ourselves a healthy future that we deserve. But we often slink back into that mode of "its just too hard ...poor me"
We would all be suprised to see how easily our lives would change and adapt if we did without....

It would require some planning as with anything but if planned right anything is within reach...

We find that planning is crucial in living a new healthy life...We are just so used to crap filled things going into our bodies. The food industry is doing a much better job of providing us with things that are good for us but its still not as easy as we would like it to be ...

but you know what ? You can buy fruit and veggies at any grocery store !!!

We area hard wired a certain way but once we start replacing and push the mad mad craving out of our minds we begin to live a better life...We will worry a bit to begin with but soon our minds will join us on our mission.

So is it hard to do ??
Yeah, its not the easiest thing in the world but its hard being overweight and unhealthy for the rest of my life...I am TIRED of that

Is it uphill? 'scuse my language here but HELL YEAH !!

Is it within my grasp and yours too ?? Well, HELL YEAH !!

And guess what ??

Its totally worth it !!

Hello My Baby

2010-01-12T20:04:00.000-08:00
So......

This has been a stress filled last few days ....I will not even begin to go into all the details but needless to say that capping off today with car troubles ending having an alternator replaced on my car was just blech.
Having said that I have been rather emotional the last few days for some reason. I know some of yall are thinking EMOTIONAL!?!?! Yeah....I get emotional from time to time and the last few days have been tough for me....
As a result I have wanted to eat. This has never been like me ...I dont really eat when I am going through something but the last couple days have had me craving things like big juicy cheeseburgers....french fries covered in ketchup and YES mayo!!
I am working past it and have had alot of help from MRS L....but its still been tough. I am in some ways glad to have this chance to work through this time cause it tests me in some ways....I can understand better what works and does not work for me. At the end of the day I am going to take this as a great learning experience.

and now a little off topic
Haiti .....
I cannot even begin to imagine living in THE poorest nation in the Western Hemisphere and then having your entire life literally crumble out from under you in a matter of 30 seconds. I am really sickened by what we are seeing on the TVs tonight in regards to possible death tolls and property destruction.
My prayers are with those folks affected by this earthquake

Don't Worry Bout Me

2010-01-09T11:26:00.000-08:00
So........

Today was weigh in and am pleased to announce that I managed to lose 3.5lbs this past week. After a gain over the two week prior to that I am happy to perhaps be on track with losing weight again. Up or down though I am here for the long haul. Here are the numbers as of today ...

Starting Weight - 381 lbs
Todays loss- 3.5lb
Total Lost - 54 lbs
Todays Weight 328 lbs

Drinking. Most if not all of us have had a drink of some kind in our lives. Some of us love to go to a social event and have a drink in our hand. The feel of the glass and the feel of the warm as it flows down your throat.
I am no stranger to having a drink from time to time. I am no lush by any standards. But for almost the last 6 months I have almost completly stopped drinking. I can almost count on one hand how many times I have had a drink since August. Over the holidays I was at a party and I swear to you I maybe had two swallows of a beer. Thats it.
I would rather just go without at this point in my life....I am not saying that I will never again have a drink but when you sit and look at the points associated with drinking on the WW diet system its just not worth it to me anymore.
This will perhaps cause a little awkwardness in social settings from time to time. Being the guy who does not drink sometimes gets you a weird look.....I am ok with that too.

So I sit here a few short months away from my 36th Birthday....Living a cleaner life in regards to my eating and consumption of foods.
Its a good place to be ...

How Are Ya' Fixed For Love

2010-01-08T12:31:00.000-08:00
So......

I am a decently smart guy ....It might take me a while to figure out the instructions to a shelf I bought at IKEA but eventually I get it together(it also helps to not follow the swedish instructions)

I have been on a weight loss "journey" for almost 5.5 months.
Its been great.
Has it been easy ? Nope.
Has it been fun? Sometimes.
Will I continue? Heck Yeah.
Will I offer encouragment to others? Yes, If I feel like its the right thing to do in the right situation.
Do I have all the answers ? Well of course!!! Ha not really ...but I do have a wee lil bit on insight that I did not have 6 months ago...

Having said all that I have found that in my life its a good thing to surround yourself with folks that are....
Supporters. In ANY circumstance.
Smarter than me.
I get a few blogs and tweets from other folks also on a weight loss journey of some kind....Some have lost HUNDREDS of pounds and others have lost a couple of pounds. Some of their advice is below ....
............"As I journeyed to lose 158 pounds, I learned that it’s important to learn to say ‘no’. Saying ‘yes’ to cakes and pies is easy, but learning to say ‘no’ to foods you don’t want or need is very freeing and empowering.” –Diane
.............“If you keep going on & off a ‘diet’ (which by the way is NOT a lifestyle change for life), you’ll never learn to ‘listen’ or understand your body and how it reacts to certain food choices AND exercise. I have been able to keep this up so long and keep it off because I LISTEN TO MY BODY AND MAKE CHANGES BASED ON WHAT MY BODY AND LIFE ARE TELLING ME. Each choice I’ve made is one I know I can live with lifelong or until my bod tells me otherwise.” – Jody
..............“Pick your ‘perfect’.” – Tony
...............“If I could pass along one ‘here’s the answer to all the fitness/healthy living stuff that ails ya’ tip, it would be simply one word: CONSISTENCY. The key for both losing and maintaining is moving. Consistently. Every day. Day in day out. Year in year out. People consistently ask me how many hours I workout a day and seem not to want to believe how little exercise I do (30 minutes pretty much every day, ranging from traditional exercise to vigorous dance parties with my daughter). I am simply consistent and that, in my opinion, is the key. I move every day. In some fashion. No matter how busy I am. No matter what else is happening in my life. No matter what silly form my movement may need to take to squeeze it in. Day in day out. Year in year out. Consistently.”– Carla
................“Do it out of love, not punishment.”
................“I discovered the sure path to permanent weight loss is to find out why you eat and solve that. Otherwise, that wicked "why" comes back to haunt you like bad Halloween candy hiding in your sock drawer. Once solved, that "why" will leave your life and take the bad candy with it.” –Pat
................“The two most important elements for success? Self-honesty and consistency. You have to be very real with yourself and your habits. You have to accept responsibilty for every choice you make. Understanding the power of a choice is so critical---when you realize this, get super honest with yourself---and protect your journey by giving it a super high importance level---and realize consitency is key. Well, how can you fail? You can't. Success is yours for the taking!” – Sean Anderson
...............“Typical NY resolution: massive changes and maybe a cleanse diet. Embrace logic instead: make small changes that you can live with forever” –David Kirchhoff, President & CEO, Weight Watchers Intl
I weigh in tomorrow after a slight gain the last two weigh ins.....Hoping for a loss tomorrow but prepared for anything
See yall then !!

Stuck In The Middle Again

2010-01-06T21:15:00.000-08:00
So.....

I went to the doctor today to get refills on much needed medicines. It was not a fun time.
You see heres the deal ...I dont like a doctors office. Not that many folks out there line up once a day just to get into them but I dont handle the situation very good at all.
If I have a planned appointment then i usually get nervous the night before....I get nervous on the drive over ...I am anxious in the waiting room area. Sitting between folks hacking up their lungs is not my idea of fun .... I can't sit still once I am back in the room before said examination. I pace...open drawers...look in cabinets....look out the window...look in drawers again....think about stealing some tounge depressors.....wonder if I could get the contents of a whole jar of gauze pads in my pocket....wish I could use the ear thing to look down into my own ears...I am a wreck.
Today was really no different. I finally got back to the room a good 30 minutes after my prescribed appointment time....get in and nothing. No vitals are taken. The doc comes in and asks me if anyone took my BP, temp, etc...and I say no they did not...now she looked a little cheesed off. She leave the room and comes back with the stuff and does it all....
Clearly at this point the morning she is not having a great day....
My blood pressure was high ....144/92. She starts telling me I need to lose weight to get that down some more and in fact one of the best ways to lower high BP is to go on a diet.
Let me add this here ....I have been without my BP medicine for at least a week so I am pretty sure not taking PLUS the added stress of just being there to get refills made my pressure be higher than normal
I proceed to tell her that I am actually on a diet and ahve been since August and have lost over 50lbs....Almost like turning a light on her whole attitude changed. She says THAT'S FANTASTIC...!!!! Then she proceeds to tell me that she has recently also lost about 60lbs. We start talking about stuff and by the time I left we were both smiling and swapping stories.
Maybe she should have taken my pressure again to see if it had some down any ....
A doctors appointment that made me smile ....go figure !

At This Moment

2010-01-04T15:53:00.000-08:00
So.....

Here are some things I really need to improve on in the year 2010

My sleep. I dont sleep very good. I will go nights without actually sleeping through the night. I wake up often but I dont ever really get to sleep. I have talked to friends and family and the consensus is that I need to have a sleep test done. I will do that soon.
My finances. I need to get out of any and all debt that I am in.
Eat more fruit. I eat a good bit now but not nearly the amounts that I should. I go to the store and buy large amounts of fruit and veggies and then they go in the bin of doom and then next thing I know I am throwing out A LOT of stuff.
Eat organic. Its going to be a costly affair to begin with but I have yet to read or see anything that says organic is not better for you. One recent research showed that regular foods processed in normal processing conditions might actually cause you to GAIN weight.Thats not something I am looking to do in 2010...Gain weight. I will start small with my organic ways and gradually add things in as I can.
Create weekly menus. I know there is a website out there where you can go and plan a menu around your weight watchers and then print off the recipes,buying lists and point values for everything. This sounds like something I would like.
Encourage more.
Lower blood Pressure. I am feeling that this is the year I can stop taking my meds for this ...we shall see.
I am glad that I am on the right track with things and am excited about where I am headed.

Auld Lang Syne

2010-01-02T18:39:00.000-08:00

So.....

Its January 2, 2010 and here I sit weighing considerably less than I did 5 months ago ....I went today to weigh in and gained 2lbs. I am ok. I did not pass out. I managed to keep it together. There was no crying or gnashing of teeth. The walls did not come tumbling down. There are going to be days like this ...I know that. I am ok with it too ...

So as of today ....

Starting Weight - 381 lbs

Todays gain- 2lb

Total Lost - 50.5 lbs

Todays Weight 331.5 lbs

You see I said from the beginning that I was taking a whole new approach to things ...I am not going to dwell on why or why not. I am not going to second guess all week what I might have done LAST week. Tomorrow is a new day and it begins anew ....

I count my points and drink my water. I excercise. I even started back trying to take vitamins.

And you know what ....2010 is gonna be the best ever. "The best is yet to come" as Francis Albert would say ....

I have had many many folks ask me about my plans as far as weight loss goes ....How much do I want to lose? The number I am shooting for is 230lbs. Weird story but thats the number....

Its a LONG TERM GOAL and today in our WW meeting we talked about short term goals....Little things that keep us going. I can see 230 in my mind but I can see ramping up my exercise as a short term goal. I can see myself buying some new clothes as a short term goal.

I could list a lot of things here ....

But I know this ...there are some grey areas in weight loss...There is nothing that is "black and white"

There could be one person who weighs 200 pounds who would say "How did I get to this enormous weight" and then there will be someone like me, who throws their hands in the air and says "I am done being out of shape and overweight"

There are some who believe frozen dinners are the way to go and others who think they are a waste of money.

Some people lose weight by working out at home, some by going to the gym, and some do not even work out at all.

Some need the support of blogs and bloggers, and others could care less.

Everyone has a story to tell. Everyone has lost weight differently.There is no such thing as a "perfect diet" or a "right or wrong plan".

I have learned this during the last 5 months after speaking to folks and reading TONS.

I have changed aspects of my life and I will say one thing about weight loss....Do not ever say you do not care.

I am inspired by my friend ELucas who lost and has maintained....and yes I am inspired by those folks on The Biggest Loser. I want to be that inspiration one day ....I care.

A poor decision will not ruin you ...Not caring will. I care

So what will 2010 bring for me besides my continued road to better health. ....

Maybe I should be less annoying

Maybe I should post more about trees and the environment

Maybe I should fly to visit friends more.

Maybe I should take off a couple of weeks

Maybe I should make a lot of money

Maybe I should just keep on moving forward.

I have said it on Facebook and Twitter and to any person that will listen to me ....2010 is going to be an amazing year and I am glad to have you all along as fellow travellers.

Seasons Of Love

2009-12-26T19:05:00.000-08:00
So.....

Went to weigh in today and please find below the results

Starting Weight - 381 lbs
Todays gain- 1lb
Total Lost - 52.5 lbs
Todays Weight 329.5 lbs

I have said before that I am totally ok with gains here and there. I know its part of the process. So to have made it through almost 5 weeks of roasted turkeys,dressing, ham, cheesy "stuff", sweet chocolate "stuff", cakes, cookies, pies, candies,casseroles,homemade breads, egg nog and a taste of alcohol here and there ....I am very please to have only gained 2 pounds over the course of the season. Add to that I managed to lose alot more than I gained so I think i am on the right track.
ALSO....I got new pants and am proud to say that since august I have dropped THREE pants sizes. My old belts dont fi(got a new one today)
So thats good ....
I am pleased to have a WONDERFUL friend joining us at WW and cannot wait to be on this journey with her. Its gonna be a blast.!!!
I will be taking a year ending week off and wont report in till NEXT Saturday ...
Have a great END OF THE YEAR WEEK!!

In The Bleak Mid-Winter

2009-12-25T21:46:00.000-08:00

2008

2009

So.....

You will find above last years christmas picture and this years ....I see a slight difference. The belt I was wearing in LAST years pictures I cannot wear this year cause it TOO BIG ...Heck Yeah !!

Hope yall had a great Christmas Day !!

So This Is Christmas .....

2009-12-24T22:03:00.000-08:00

Luke 2:1-20
The Birth of Jesus

1 In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. 2(This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria.) 3And everyone went to his own town to register.

4So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. 5He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. 6While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, 7and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.
The Shepherds and the Angels 8And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. 9An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. 10But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. 11Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. 12This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."

13Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, 14"Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests."

15When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, "Let's go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about."
16So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. 17When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, 18and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. 19But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.

20The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.

O Holy Night

2009-12-23T22:46:00.000-08:00
So......

Its Christmas Eve !

My thoughts on another year gone by ....
I am still in the same job. I love my job and the folks I work with ....Its a frustrating job at times but at the end of the day I go home happy and content with the with the work I am doing. I know alot of folks who cant say the same thing ...
I am amazed sometimes at the folks who HATE Montgomery. Montgomery is a nice city and my adopted hometown. Be nice to her....
Having found out this year that I have hearing problems in one ear only makes it seem like I hear even WORSE ....The roar is still in my ears and I am looking forward to the day when that ends.
I got to spend some great time in Western NC this past year ....Going 4 times total.
As you all know, Health become a big issue for me at the end of the summer. 2010 is shaping up to be an AMAZING year....I have a few personal goals that I would like to see achieved by this time next year and with some hard work and determination I will do it. I am also excited to have folks join up on the journey. Its gonna be FUN!
Speaking of health stuff ...sometime after the first I am going to finally schedule some type of sleep test. Lack of Sleep = poor health. I get sick with little things alot...colds sinus etc...time to check this out.
I am going to go hiking next year. Not a stroll in the woods by my house but a real weekend long hike ...maybe longer. Jmcfee is going to be my guide cause he is the great hiker !!
I continue to find so much love and support from my WONDERFUL friends. Nick, Laura, MrLucas, Jackie, John, Laura, Jason,David, Ryan, MT, Steve,Mary and Lane.....Yall make my life meaningfull and amazing. Where would I be with the love and support ...I just dont know. Words cant express my love to yall....
I started to Twitter this past year....do I like it ?? Verdict is still out but I am still tweeting.
My family....I love yall for everything yall do ....
I say it every year ...but I still terribly miss my Dad. I dont think that will ever change.
I dont have any movie lists or music lists to share. I see alot of stuff on Netflix and buy alot on iTunes but I have weird tastes in both at times ....
I could go on and on .....
After this coming weigh in on Saturday I am going to be taking a week off from blogging till the first Saturday in January 2010. As you can tell I have used song titles since August for my blog titles ....should i keep it up or change to something else..? Sometimes the song titles match something in the post itself but other tiumes i just like the song ...So should I keep things the same ?? Let me know
Thats it for tonight ...its getting close to 1:30 am and I need to be up early tomorrow
Peace Love and Happiness to you all and Happy Christmas Eve

White Christmas

2009-12-22T20:27:00.000-08:00

So....

A friend of mine emailed this to me and I wanted to share

Ways That Losing Weight Is Like Writing A Letter To Santa .....

Anyone can do it

Being greedy isn’t a recipe for success

Some people need a little help getting it started

You feel better once it’s done

The possibilities are limitless

Your’s is different than everyone else’s

Helps if you write down all the things you want

If you can’t stop being naughty, you probably shouldn’t even bother

Once you’ve done it, you have to continue being good

Sometimes you feel like it’s going nowhere

Just saying what you want doesn’t mean you’re going to get it

You really need to be good, not just say you’ve been good

It’s harder to do when you get older

You really should leave out cookies

It doesn’t work if you don’t believe

Home For The Holidays

2009-12-19T21:07:00.000-08:00

So.....

No weight loss stuff tonight ...got family on my mind.

I look at the family picture above and I see two folks missing....My Grandaddy who was and is my Hero and my Daddy. I cried tonight looking at that picture but you know what ...
Our family goes on...It goes on with the smiling faces of those great kids down front there ...It goes on with my cousin Ashley being engaged and getting ready to start a family with Tyler. It continues through the grandkids who have famlies. The grandkids who remember the years gone by and the Christmas of 1975. Or the one from 87. We share with the little ones about how Santa brought horses for presents one year....We share and laugh.
We eat Grannys cake.....Her amazing chocolate cake!

So our family endures through loss and tragedy....It sounds stupid and corny but we endure because we do remember those past holidays, we eat that cake, we share those memories about our Grandaddy who loved Christmas and told us to always believe in Santa Claus....and I do Believe. You miss your Daddy with an incredible ache in your body but you remember how happy he was to watch his grandkids open gifts Christmas Day. You laugh when you remember how he would sneak off after lunch to go home and take a nap...

Family endures.

We fight and argue. We forget names. We laugh at each other till we cant see straight. We wonder who will eat that least piece of chocolate cake and you know what....
My family is full of crazy folks ....but crap I love um!
Merry Christmas !

Deck The Halls...

2009-12-18T09:51:00.000-08:00
So.....

Tomorrow will be a busy day filled with family christmas time at my grannys house and i decided to go today and weigh in ....
I lost 5 lbs this past week !!! I dont know what I did different....I dont know how I manged to lost that much weight but I did and am very happy. Getting to 50 lbs is a HUGE deal for me ...its almost psychological if that makes sense....But here I am at 53.5 lbs to date...I said back in August that it would be cool if i managed to lose about 60lbs by Christmas....6.5 lbs is not that far off folks ...
WOW...

So to date

Starting Weight- 381 lbs
Todays loss- 5 lbs
Total Lost - 53.5 lbs
Weight Today- 328.5 lbs

The Christmas Waltz

2009-12-15T10:42:00.000-08:00

So.....

We are knee deep in the holiday season ..Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukah, New Years ...the list goes on and on and so far this year I have been to more than a few parties with a few more to go before New Years Eve.

Here is a list that someone sent me. It is a good listing of things to do to help you out at a party if you feel the need to go a little overboard.

Always bring a pocketful of low-fat ranch dressing to dip carrot sticks in.

Dance furiously to burn off extra calories, even if there isn’t any music.

When you see a plate of cookies, think about me licking each one of them (because I do that at every party I go to).

If you’re looking for a beer that’s lighter than regular beer, try “light” beer.

Chewing on poinsettia leaves will suppress your appetite (probably due to the fact that they’re poisonous).

Instead of eggnog, enjoy a glass of eggwhitenog.

If there’s a bowl of chocolates, stuff them all in your mouth as quickly as possible so that they won’t wind up tempting you all evening long.

To get a little exercise, use the restroom at the house down at the end of the block.

When no one’s looking, spin around a couple hundred times.

Raw vegetables are a good healthy choice, especially if you fry them up and dip them in catsup.

While you’re talking to your boss at the office party, shake uncontrollably. It burns 40 calories an hour.

If someone offers you a piece of cake, explain that you’re Catholic and can’t have any.

Wear clothes that are three times too small so that you won’t feel like eating because one sugar cookie might make a button shoot off you as if shot out of a gun.

Ask the host if he or she has a treadmill that you can drag out into the living room.

Every time someone offers you a drink, fake a heart attack.

Mele Kalikimaka

2009-12-12T12:01:00.000-08:00
So.....

I went today to weigh in and for the first time in 17 weeks I gained. One pound. Whos upset ?? Not this guy....if anything I am a wee bit relieved to have a gain behind me....I have my reasons for it but thats what I am feeling right now ....

So to date...

Starting Weight 381lbs

Todays Gain- 1lb

Weight Today -332.5

Total Weight lost 48.5 lbs

To have done what I have done in 17 weeks is still amazing to me ...Keep on keeping on ...
Yall have a DRY Saturday

Mistletoe and Holly

2009-12-11T10:11:00.000-08:00

So.....

Twitter or Facebook....This post might ruffle feathers but here goes

I do both but I only do one regular. Facebook. I like facebook cause I get a real name, I like posting updates from time to time. I like seeing pages of pictures.I like leaving comments. I dont do the farmville thing but hey to each his own....

I still dont get Twitter....

I stink at Twitter.....I follow a couple of folks on there that post about weight loss and thats fun and of course I follow just about all of my blog readers out there ...Yall do a good job at updating Twitter. I will sometimes go a whole day without even thinking about it ...I will check FB many many times during the day...

With Twitter I always feel behind ....

See in my opinion there is an art to being a great Tweeter. You must have a really good blend of letting people into your life, re-tweeting motivational quotes, leaving good direct messages, and using the @ often. I dont do all that ....

With all of this being said, I haverespect for the weight loss Tweeters that are good at it.

I do think that being a good Tweeter takes talent.

I just dont have that ....

Frosty the Snowman

2009-12-09T14:49:00.001-08:00

So....

I just noticed that I have 304 blog posts in the last 3+ years...a good many have occured in the last 4 months....I also noticed that in a very short while my blog posts will catch up with my weight loss. Or I should say that they will catch up to my current weight. Pretty neat ...anyway moving on ...

I want to bake cookies. Decorated cookies with thick rich creamy piped icing. I want them to be in the shape of Santa and candy canes. I want big plump snowmen with white frothy bodies and black hats. Maybe green and red icing on a wreath or christmas trees.

I want to make snickerdoodles (thanks brad)....and contrary to popular belief they have neither snickers or doodles in them ! I want to make Martha Washington balls.... Yummy confectioners sugar, chopped pecans, coconut and eaglebrand milk...Yeah, I want to do this ...

I used to bake cookies with a friend from Tuskegee ...One year we made so many sugar cookies we had them on the beds to let the icing set ...we made HUNDREDS...So much fun. Then we stopped making cookies...never did it much after that and honest to goodness I have not made cookies during the holidays since.

I am going to bake this weekend I think ...Maybe Saturday. Supposed to be a good cold day outside and I think it would be perfect weather for it....Might make some fudge also

I dont really want to eat all these cookies...I want to give them out to folks. I would enjoy a good sugar cookie and perhaps I might have one with a glass of milk ...

I am just feeling nostalgic today .....Call me sappy

The Christmas Waltz

2009-12-07T15:25:00.000-08:00

December 2009October 2009
July 2009

July 2009

So.....

Just a couple of pictures today ...nothing to drastic but kinda give us an idea as to where I was am where I am today. Four months ago today I joined Weight Watchers and so far so good...
The first picture was made this past Sunday night on the 6th when our ensemble group at DUMC did 5 pieces from Handels Messiah ....The second picture is from MWITW back in October....Third picture was from our summer family trip to DC and the final picture is from the church where the choir did a broadway show...
I really think i need some more pictures...we shall see

Enjoy

Winter Wonderland

2009-12-05T18:28:00.000-08:00

So....

It snowed somewhere last night but to the best of my knowledge it was a wash here in Montgomery. I mean I had friends in Texas who saw snow and West Alabama saw accumulated snow. Friends in Baltimore, NYC and North Carolina ....Snow, Snow Snow ...but we got rain.
Oh Well...

I spent a good portion of today with my great nephews , Hunter and Connie. We spent the day making a gingerbread house and making some little stained glass ornaments. I remember as a kid doing the same thing with my aunt and wanted to share it with my nephews. We had fun!

Oh I also went to weigh in and here are the numbers ...I managed to lose 3.5lbs this past week!!
So to Date
Start Weight - 381lbs
Todays Loss- 3.5lbs
Todays Weight - 331.5
Total Loss- 49.5lbs

In four months I have done something that i really thought might take me a whole year to do and for that I am thankfull !!
I am pleased with any loss and you all know that ...Thanks for the continued support !
As Francis Albert used to sing " The best is yet to come....."

For Unto Us A Child Is Born

2009-12-04T18:58:00.000-08:00
So.....

It was in the news this past week that Jared from Subway fame seems to have a gained a few pounds...

Yeah ...That happens when you struggle with being overweight. ET on television reported on it, Perez " I am perfect so dont bash me" Hilton commented on it ...and it was online on several different news sites. Everyone you read or heard commenting on it was SHOCKED....

Pssssst ...heres the deal-Weight loss struggles and obesity have been around a lot longer than Twitter,Facebook, AOL and Perez Hilton. They aint going anywhere anytime soon.....

I hate it for Jared if he has gained some of weight back but you know what ...He has inspired alot of folks to get serious about their health. Maybe not eat Subway every day for two years but they are doing something maybe.

I read on my AOL page(yeah I still use AOL) anyway on their health page "That's Fit", they said that Jared was "Toting some extra baggage and not the kind on wheels....looks like his mid section is spreading like the mayo on a Sub sandwich"

These are folks who are supposed to care about folks being healthy and yet they decide to make fun of the guy ....That angers and saddens me. They blasted him just like Perez Hilton and they are supposed to be on our side.

I hope he pulls this around and is alright and back on track with weight loss....I am pulling for him and you should be too !

Santa Claus is Coming to Town

2009-12-03T09:40:00.000-08:00
So.....

Lets cheat a bit and jump to the end of this blog. I am not a fan of cheaters. I hate when I read that a favorite athlete cheated by taking steroids. ...Or they took money for something....
Or when you read that a big executive at a huge company stole millions from the company to pay for his house or houses in Aspen, Paris, Etc.
We hear about it every day in some form or another ....Cheaters suck!

Having said that lets turn to diets...We have all fallen off the diet wagon at some point but alot of times folks say " I am going to cheat a little today" "Cheating wont hurt me...pass that cake" But it does hurt you ....Eating that first piece of pie can lead to you evntually gaining weight back that you have struggled to lose.

There is no perfect diet out there ....Never will be. I understand a little better about portion control but If I am being honest with myself (and you dear readers) I will have to work for the rest of my life to have a healthy weight. Excercise will be a norm for me ....Some people dont have to struggle. I will and I understand that ....

When we say we are going to have a cheat day it suddenly has a naughty sound to it ....Kinda like taking two suckers at the bank or smoking in the bathroom when you should not be smoking at all.
Heres the deal ...Most diets do work though specially the ones that mainly teach portion control. Slowly building you into a new way of eating and making choices. They are designed to let you eat what you want to eat when you want to eat it ...You can eat pie, cakes, candies, ice cream, starches galore....just be more aware of it and when you get the idea of having a CHEAT day there will be no need because when you look back you realize something....you dont need a cheat day cause I have not lacked for anything.

Cheating sucks ....Just ask the guys from 1919 'Black Sox" team ....

White Christmas

2009-12-01T09:22:00.000-08:00
So....

Its about making choices ....I found a site that broke things down and you could register what you used to eat vs what you can order now and not feel like you have sunk your ship....
Enjoy....AND this is post #300 on my blog ...Pretty good !!

Burger King
Then: 9-piece chicken fries, medium fry, medium Coke, cheeseburger, sweet & sour sauce = 1570 cals
Now: Tendergrill Chicken Sandwich (no mayo) = 380 cals

Wendy’s
Then: Spicy chicken sandwich, medium fry, medium chocolate frosty = 1300 cals
Now: Ultimate Chicken Grill = 380 cals -OR- Baked potato (plain), small chili (plain) = 460 cals

Sonic
Then: Ex-long chili cheese coney, medium onion rings, medium liimeade slush = 1392 cals
Now: Grilled chicken sandwich (no mayo), Jr. candy sundae = 365 cals

McDonald’s
Then: Premium crispy chicken club sandwich, medium fries, medium Coke = 1250 cals
Now: Vanilla soft-serve cone = 150 cals

Papa Johns Then: Meat Lovers pizza (4 slices x 3 meals since )= 2400 cals
Now: Slice of cheese pizza = 310 cals Panera Bread

Panera Bread
Then: Sierra turkey (1/2), baked potato soup (8 oz), whole-grain baguette (side),sweet tea = 980 cals
Now: Smoked turkey on sourdough (1/2), baked potato soup (8 oz) = 450 cals

I don’t eat much ‘traditional’ fast food or ‘chain’ restaurant food these days simply because I prefer to spend my calories on more filling type foods....but from time to time you will find yourself out there and will need to decide what you want from a fast food place and remember they always have salads !!

Bells Will Be Ringing

2009-11-30T09:54:00.000-08:00
So.....

To me, weight loss is not about what you put in your mouth.No two people lose weight the exact same way.Everybody is different. Some want the occasional "treat", some are "hardcore clean eaters". Some love the gym, some walk at home....for folks to say they are a weight loss expert is to say you are "The master of the Slot Machine"...... Just because you hit a jackpot does not mean you can do it every time or help others win a jackpot.

The one piece of advice that I can give, which might sound weird from me although it shouldn't, is this... A loss is a loss, and do not ever get discouraged that you "Only lost ____" I have already realized that I can do this for the rest of my life.
I know the feeling though, You work so hard all week. You read or see stories about folks who lose 5-10lbs .....you watch "The Biggest Loser" where you see huge losses.
You get on the scale and you "Only lost one pound!".....You question the way you eat.You question if this is worth it.You question your program that has worked for so many weeks.Realistically, losing a pound is awesome. I mean think about it ...If you lose one pound each week for a year BOOM 52 lbs are gone off your frame...pretty damn good if you ask me.
Life is weird sometimes.... no one did not get a date because they weighed 212 instead of 209......no one did not get the promotion because they were 201 instead of 199. Yet every week, those numbers destroy our mentality. Sure there is a difference from 400 to 200 pounds, but why do we sweat the small stuff? This is where people start to fail and this is where I have failed for so long. I never looked at the big picture.When your mentality is destroyed, your mind wonders....You look at other diets and try them out. You get confused at the gym, and try so many programs.Yet, you lost a pound!
DOnt get me wrong ..I am very happy to be where I am ...VERY VERY VERY happy ....I have managed to lose weight each and every week since I started on August 7....But I can understand the frustration of wanting to lose more and not being able to do so ....But a loss of anything kind is a great thing....I am not complaining. This is just whats on my mind today ....
I hate the term "Shake it up". When people say that, it means they are going to try anything to lose "more" weight. Maybe you are different, I am not.So be proud of those losses. No matter how small. If I would have realized a one pound loss is better than a 250 pound gain, I would have been successful years ago.
Onward I go ....

O Tannenbaum

2009-11-28T19:51:00.000-08:00
So....

Tonight we had the big "Welcome Home Baby Rosemary...Lets help Mom and Dad put the tree up" at the Lucas house and all went very nice. Baby R is delightful by the way ....

I went today to weigh in and was a bit worried after my trip to Atlanta last weekend and then my big Thanksgivng feast on thursday....Well, I managed to lose 2lbs this week!! How bout that !?!?!?!?!

So to date

Starting Weight 381lbs
Todays Loss-2lbs
Total To Loss To Date- 46 lbs
Weight Today- 334.5 lbs

I am happy and I am tired...Where in the world did the holiday weekend go ?
Peace and Sweet Dreams to you all

The Holly and The Ivy

2009-11-27T20:23:00.000-08:00
So.....

Turkey and dressing- Gone. Auburn ALMOST defeated Alabama but almost dont count....Good game though. I was very good with portion sizes Thrusday..had no cake or anything sweet, but I ate a ton of veggies and of course turkey.
Tree is up and decorated but there is still alot to do ....I weigh in tomorrow after my Atlanta weekend conference and Thanksgiving ...we shall see.
I am exhausted after spending two full days with family stuff etc.....
Good night

We Gather Together

2009-11-25T20:13:00.000-08:00

There is one day that is ours. There is one day when all we Americans who are not self-made go back to the old home to eat saleratus biscuits and marvel how much nearer to the porch the old pump looks than it used to. Thanksgiving Day is the one day that is purely American. ~O. Henry

So...

Its almost Thanksgiving. You got your list and I got mine ...Here are just a few of the things that I am thankful for this year....Its a bit mushy but here goes

A job that I actually enjoy about 98% of the time. Any job has its ups and downs but when you can go in smiling almost every single day and LEAVE the same way ...well then you got a good thing my friends.

Family. The crazier we are the more we seem to get along at times. I have to amazing nephews that I adore and love with all my heart and soul. You cannot imagine how my heart feels when I see my youngest nephew walk out of school and realize that I am picking him up that day...The look on his face is enough to get me through 10 years worth of anything bad. To look at my oldest nephew and see the excitement when you talk about books and history and yes politics. It makes me proud. To having a mother and a brother who drives through the night to be with you right before emergency surgery. I Love Yall.

To seeing my godaughters walking and squeeling with delight when they play. Music to my ears.

Old friends who are new parents. Welcome to the World Rosemary.

To renewed family vacations to far off places. What a blast.

My uncle being home and reminding me so much of my Dad.

Being 44 pounds lighter than I was 3.5 months ago.

My friends all over the country and world for that matter.... Oxford, Birmingham, Pennsylvania, California, Atlanta,Dallas, New Zealand, England...The list is long. Thanks guys for being there

My best friends here....Meals, travels,porch time, understanding, guiding,listening, walking,sharing and growing. I could not possibly be me without yall.

Watching the kids in my youth growing into young adults and going off into the world. Its crazy that I have been around these folks for almost 10 years.

Lower blood pressure.

My granny and the way she shows her love.

Quilts. I love a quilt.

My faith. I have it but seldom wear it on my sleeve. Its my business and I am ok with that..

Memories of my Nana, Grandaddy and my Dad. Bittersweet this time of the year but damn I love thinking about them and the smiles they had .

Having Grannys recipe for her dressing and being able to make it ALMOST as good as she does.

Decent health.

My devoted fans who read my blog to keep up with my weight loss progress

I could go on for pages and pages .....I am a blessed man. I hope yall have a great Thanksgiving.
Peace and Love to you all ....

Santa Baby

2009-11-24T10:19:00.000-08:00
So.....

Its the week of Thanksgiving and all is well here on the diet front. Ask me Saturday if things are still great !! Ha
But for real I dont really plan on going overboard this week. I have a listing of points for traditionl THanksgiving items. Dressing, sweet potatoes etc. I am expecting a great week followed by a great victory by the Auburn Tigers on Friday. Tree decorating this coming weekend and then sliding full force into the Christmas Season

I had a full weekend last weekend in Atlanta. Ate some pretty decent food but managed to stay within my points. I think I am starting to move past the point of stressing so much about going out of town and eating. I did not drink enough water or have enough veggies but I did pretty good. The main thing is I had a great chance to connect with some old friends...and we had a nice time catching up. Oh, I also went to a conference thing....

Thats it for today
More tomorrow about the Thanksgiving menu.

Its Beginning to Look Alot Like Christmas

2009-11-20T20:07:00.000-08:00
So....

Today is the end of a busy day of getting up extra early, going to work for a small bit, going to weigh in, travelling to Atlanta for a conference and ending the night meeting up with some old friends for dinner and catching up time.
As I mentioned I went today to weigh in and am as always pleased to report that I lost another 3lbs this past week.

So to date ...

Start Date -381lbs
Loss Today-3lbs
Total Weight Loss-44lbs
Weight Today-337.5lbs

How excited am I that I am now below the 340lb mark??? VERY.
Some of the comments I have been getting from folks about my weight loss is ..."WOW, but its gotta be so hard" Yes, Its been a new thing for me to get used to and yes its meant giving up a few things but overall its been a great experience for me . But as always with WW you can have anything you want its just about making a right choice and sticking with it ...deciding do I want to drink my calories or eat them. Deciding do I want to run by McDonalds for a quick fix or do I want to go home and eat something that if filling and good ....
I know that the day will come when I will step up there and register a no loss or a gain ....or maybe that will never happen.... I dont know but what I do know is this ...I am headed in the best direction possible in my life right now and for that I am pleased.

This next week we will officially enter the "Holiday Season"....Am I nervous about the food offerings that are just around the corner ....not really. I will eat Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday and get things going ....I will not keep things off my plate but I will use the moderation key. I will enjoy Thursday just like I always would have.

As I mentioned earlier we are in Atlanta this weekend for the National Youth Workers Convention. Its a great chance for youth workers to connect with other youth workers and to talk and relax. Its our weekend and we make the most of it. I always enjoy my NYWC time.
As a plus to being in Atlanta we also get to see old friends while here....We had a great time tonight with folks. Catching up and talking ...sharing were our lives are right now. The conversation was really great. It was also great seeing them ....

I might not be posting as much this weekend since we have to pay for WiFi at this hotel. Its a nice hotel right downtown and acrros the street from the Georgia World Congress Center but I am not sure if its worth paying each day for internet access when I can come down here and use it for free in the Business Center. Also we are going to be pretty busy with the conference going on till Monday morning.
Anyway...Yall might not hear from me again till Monday night or even Tuesday.

On a very bright note ...Atlanta is already decked out in Christmas decorations ....a wonderful site. Downtown Atlanta at nighttime is a beautiful site.
Have a great weekend
Peace

Working at The Car Wash

2009-11-18T11:50:00.000-08:00
So....
I found this online while looking around at stuff ...Pretty funny and also kinda accurate.
Enjoy

Weight Loss is Sometimes Like Buying A Car
You’re concerned about trunk space
It helps if you know what you want
All the numbers that get thrown around can get you pretty confused
The professional that’s there to help you work things out often speaks a lot of gibberish
Your mileage may vary
The more you put in, the easy it is to get a deal done
It’s a good idea to research the options
It’s shouldn’t have to worry about maintenance for a while
To get what you want, you gotta pay the price
You’ll get the best results if you can keep from getting overly emotional
Insert your own “air bags” joke here
The right fuel will get your motor running more smoothly
The longer the process goes, the more you’ll probably get off in the end
The keys are in your own hands
Folks all around you take notice once you’ve done the deal
You know you’ll be safer in a new and improved body
Nothing quite like that feeling of pride and ownership
At the end of the day, you’re the one in the driver’s seat

The Christmas Waltz

2009-11-16T17:49:00.000-08:00
So.....

Occasionally something will happen to us so often that we accept how it feels and then when it's no longer there we forget why we ever accepted the way things were.
I've been making it a habit with my healthful eating plan to make note of how I feel in a little journal. I also keep track of my points in this same book. Noticing changes as I move through the next few weeks. One big change that is so confusing and well accepted by me is my lack of hunger and cravings.
I first noticed this on last Friday when I had a HUGE Fuji apple for a snack before I went out to go run some errands.
I forgot about eating until that evening!!! Which is not a good thing, but so surprising for me I just went with it. Sure I was tempted by all of the comforting ideas of seasonal food (flavored coffee, or christmas candy were high on that list) but aside from my initial reaction to comfort myself I just did not have hunger.
Hunger for me is very uncomfortable......... I get grouchy, irritable, nauseous and that feeling of IF I DON'T EAT RIGHT THIS SECOND I WILL EAT YOUR ARM OFF. Which looking at it more closely could be a symptom of high and low blood sugar spikes. I would always fight my way past the hunger though ...go hours without even trying to slow down to eat
Now that I feel stable in that area..... I seem to be able to go longer periods without food and caving to cravings. When I wake up I don't feel that empty -sick feeling of hunger. Hunger is there....... but it is more subtle and less uncomfortable.
Its too early to assume I am cured of this desire to overeat because I'm not. But I really like how I feel. I like being able to go about my day and not be consumed with the thought of eating or wondering how I'm going to sneak extra food in my day.
Peace

Ding Dong Merrily On High !

2009-11-14T11:28:00.000-08:00
So .....

This will be a short one but I went today to weigh in and I had manged to lose 2.5lbs !!
So as of today

Start Weight-381lbs
Todays Loss - 2.5lbs
Loss to date -41lbs
Todays Weight-340 lbs

Needless to say I am very pleased considering that this past week really saw me off kilter as far as my diet has been going. I have not excercised one bit, have not had much success at drinking my water like i usually do. I have eaten good this week and thats helped keep me going in the right direction. My biggest concern was that I would gain due to the impact of all the drugs that were in my system.
No worries there though....
Speaking of water and my schedule with that ....When I get to work each morning I fill my 32oc water bottle and start drinking. Usually by 11 or 12 I am done with at least two of these bottles.
I also drink water at other times during the day but for the most part I drink it all at my desk during the day. Being out from work this past week really through me off my schedule ...anyway water over the dam as they say right ? HA
I go to Atlanta on Friday for a 4 day work conference thing and will once again have a test as to my limits of eating and such. I am not looking for a repeat of last years trip to Nashville!! Blech

Thats it for me
War Eagle !!

Grown Up Christmas List

2009-11-12T20:08:00.000-08:00
So....

I started back to the gym last week ....Went a few days then got sick. Blerg.
I am not supposed to lift anything more than 5lbs for the next month....so that means that lifting weights on any level is out of the question. But here is my deal ....I am SOOOO ready to already get back to working out ...even going those few days had me energized. I know there is nothing in the world that I can do about getting sick....Crap happens. But I feel incredibly sidelined right now and its driving me nuts.
Here is my goal once I get back to the gym (next week !!)
I am going to tackle the elliptical machine. Yeah ...thats right I am going to take it on and I will whip its ugly stupid face into the ground. I like the rowing machines and the treadmills. I like the stationary bikes and the recumbant bikes. I dont like the elliptical machines.
I will use them for a few minutes and then stop. I will gradually add my time and eventually I will show it who is boss ...Heck yeah !
Here are two things I will need ....
Music. I cant excercise on any real level without music of some kind. It motivates me and makes the time fly by....I have set play lists that I enjoy ...ask me if you are curious.
Towel or magazine. I have to cover up the time elapsed/calories burned/distance travelled thing when I am working out or I will check every 2 minutes...Tick Tock Tick Tock !!
So thats my plan next Monday morning is to hit the gym (slowly ) again.
Its Time.

Wassil Song

2009-11-10T19:08:00.000-08:00

So....

I have now been at home for two days in a row taking it easy...Not doing much of anything and let me tell you this...I am SOOOO missing excercising.

I ahve not been able to walk of course and needless to say I have not been to the gym since last week.

I dont know when I will go back to the gym to be honest because I cant lift more than 5lbs for the next month at least. So at least a month ...right ?

Main thing I am missing is my walking. I was walking almost every single day or night and so far I have not done that since LAST Thursday!! I mean I have been walking around my house but its a slow go still....

I already have Thanksgiving on my mind . The food mainly but I have also mentioned that I enjoy the day period. The crowded house....watching the parade while the turkey roasts in the oven.....watching football after lunch. Taking a walk in the afternoon around the neighboorhood to see the folks already out and decorating for Christmas.

Yeah ...I dig Thanksgiving.

I am also thinking about recipes and what to change this year and you know what ....I am not changing anything...

I will cook the dressing the same way my Granny always did....We will have chocolate cake and sweet potato crunch. We will have pumpkin pie and 7 layer salad. We will have thick rich gravy and fresh yeast rolls. Squash casserole and green beans. It will all be there and I will be there also ...just paying more attention to my portions this year. I will maybe even use a smaller plate...

I will not be changing recipes this year because folks come to eat what they know on the Holidays. They want that dressing that is rich and moist...They want that pumpkin pie that YES you make yourself. They dont want a low fat version of anything on Thanksgiving or Christmas. And I accept and understand that ...I am cool with it.

So I will make the dressing with the 8EGGS in it and 2-3 sticks of melted butter!! And we will all remember at some point during that day that we are very very blessed !

Peace

Santa Baby

2009-11-09T20:17:00.000-08:00
So....

I dont have much to add tonight except things are going fine. I had a question for yall though ..
How does taking strong antibiotics and pain meds....how will this affect my weight loss? Will it cause me to gain retain etc
I am not that worried i am just wondering what yalls thoughts are ...
Let me know

HURT

2009-11-08T16:58:00.000-08:00
So......

This will be short .....
I went Friday to Mobile to participate in an Advanced Lay Speaking Course at SpringHill UMC. I was excited to be gone out of town for a day or so ...to see an old friend and to just deepen my understanding of what God wants for me ....None of this really panned out the way I had planned...
I did not feel great on Friday ...stomach was kinda hurting a tad bit but if you know me then you know that I am tummy troubles on a regular basis. I thought maybe an ulcer was back ...but by the the time I got to Mobile I was feeling even worse.
Within the span of a couple of hours I was in the ER at a local hospital having blood taken, getting a CT scan of my belly and then I was told that my appedix was causing a revolt and trying to stage a Civil War against my body.....Yeah, it no longer wanted to be a part of this union.
They admitted me and told me to get ready for surgery at 6:30am the next morning.
My mother and brother drove down and got to the hospital about 5:30 am....
I had the surgery and spent the whole day and next night in the bed.
I am home now and looking forward to continwuing my recovery at home ...I will be off for a few days or at least until I can drive ...the surgeon said to give it at least three days to get my range of mobility back. Main thing is I am very sore and "stove" up as they used to say...being put under does something to my muscles and when I wake up it feels like I have had the most intense workout of my life...ugh
I cannot say enough to everyone who texted, called, emailed and sent me messages on FB. Thanks so much for yalls concern.
Aslo a big shout out to David Bowen. David rode down with me to also attend this course at the church and he was so great about helping me out at the hospital. Making calls for me. Sitting and waiting with me ...Thanks man !

In other news I did get to weigh in on Friday and found out the following ....I lost 3lbs!!
So to date
Starting Weight- 381lbs
Loss on Friday- 3lbs
Total to Date- 38.5lbs
Fridays Weight- 343 lbs

Yeah I was happy ...

My bed is now calling ....Peace

Mama Dont Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys

2009-11-05T07:31:00.000-08:00
So....

I like blogging ....It keeps me honest. It keeps me motivated. The feedback has been great and I have almost posted 100 blog posts since starting my diet...so HOORAY!

Something I dont like is the term "fat". TO call me fat is not nice....when I think of fat I think of a nasty piece of stuff you leave on your plate after you eat a nice steak. A slimy, sticky foul piece of something on the side of your plate....
I am overweight...That is what we should call it because its true. I am over my desired weight. I can deal with this ...

Another thing I have been thinking about alot lately ...I need some new pants. Mine are not huge but they sure dont fit right anymore . The area around my thighs in the back are crazy baggy....my waist is down also and add to that that I now have one belt that fits. The others are too loose when you take them all the way down to the last belt notch.
I like nice pants....I like Polo pants. They tend to be expensive...Like $75-85 dollars a pair expensive. So do I just bite the bullet and get some that fit better now or get some inexpensive pants to make due for now ...
Also I have decided against altering anything at this time because the ladies I spoke with said that trying to fix the baggyness of my pants would result in the pants not fitting right overall.
CRAP! They can take in the waist but its the other that sorta bothers me but ...anyway.

I was asked not to mention this in my post but today is Guy Fawkes Day.
Its also an anniversay of sorts for me and a great friend.....I appreciate all the love and support I have been given these past 3 years...Dont know where I would be without you !! Love you bud
AND today would have been my dads 64th birthday ....Hard to believe that its been 3 years since he died...

Peace and Love

Do You Hear What I Hear

2009-11-03T05:59:00.000-08:00

So......

For the past couple of weeks I have been having this roaring sound in my ears. The right ear being the worst of the two....Mild at times and then really bad later at night. Bad to the point of being a distraction....and causing me to not hear things as I should.

On Monday I went to see Dr Knox here in Montgomery to see what was going on ....Let me add this ...I really like Dr Knox, He is a really great doctor who takes all the time in the world with you and add to that the fact that he realy makes me feel relaxed when he walks in the room.

That goes a LONG way with me since I am not a fan of doctor settings and such.

Anyway, he checked me out...looked in the ears, asked tons of questions and after much discussion we finally wound ourselves around to my weight loss. It would seem that in some cases rapid weight loss ( and for me almost 36lbs in 11weeks is rapid) can cause what I was experiencing. The tubes in your ears contract, open and close when you swallow. When you lose alot of weight in a short time they react to that somehow and dont open and close right and that produces the roar that I was hearing.

He said that in time once my body catches up to the weight loss stuff it should go away...Good Deal.

Here is the second part to all this ....He decided to have my hearing checked while I was there just as a precaution. Well after a long hearing test we found out that my left ear is fine...my right ear not so much. I have 30% hearing loss in my right ear. 30%!!

He asked tons of questions about what type of noise I am around...... I am not around long sustained loud noises. Never have been.

We discussed if this was something I was born with ....Not likely. If I had been born with something like this by tht time I got to be my age the hearing loss would have been much further along.

Just great ......

So here we are ....

You Do Something To Me

2009-11-01T21:10:00.000-08:00
So....

Its November.....The weather has been perfect today ...nice cooler temps, no rain and just overall goodness.
I was talking with my favorite mother of twins tonight and the topic of The Biggest Loser came up....Its no secret that I am not a fan of the show but we touched on something that I had really had not thought about before and here is how it goes ...
Folks go on this show for what reason ? I mean really, why do they do it ?
Do they want to get their 15 minutes of fame ? Do they want to show their families something ? Do they want to lose weight and this is the final time for them to get things going right for them ?
Maybe they need someone to yell at them and tell them that they are killing themselves....Maybe they need the atmosphere of being with folks who are in the same boat that they are ....Maybe they need therapy.
But for me heres the deal ....
When you are fat, obese or maybe just 30lbs overweight you yell at yourself all the dang time....You try on those pants and say... CRAP! these fit last year or you see yourself in a picture and think YOU ARE SUCH A FAT IDIOT for getting so big ....I dont need Bob or Jillian degrading me any more ....that wont work.
We dont need to go to a "ranch" to be around other fat people... we can walk in WalMart, Publix or anywhere else and see folks who need to lose weight ....We can look at our own families and see the same thing you see at the "ranch".
Therapy for me ....FOR ME I say is finally admitting that I had to do this myself...I cant ask my Mom to do it...I cant ask my best friend to do it ....I cant wait for a heart attack to almost kill me to do it ...I have to step up to the plate and say " Yeah, I am fat and here are the reasons: I eat too much, I eat portions that are WAY to big, I stop by Krystals late at night on my way home from something and get 4 cheese Krystals, I drink 7 or 8 Cokes a day, I love eating a white bread sangwich with lots of mayo and cheese, I dont excercise, I dont drink water, I get excited about a covered dish supper...Thats why I am fat"
Does your family situation play a role ....Maybe. Does the stress at your job play a role...Perhaps.
Does the fact that you want to eat a whole coconut pie play a role ...Hell Yes.
These folks dont need to go to a "ranch"...they dont need a trainer yelling at them ....
They need to be honest with themselves .....
Its working so far for me ....But I am me.

The Monster Mash

2009-10-31T14:27:00.000-07:00
BOO!!

Happy Halloween to everyone ...Today found me finishing up the final stuff for several costumes that the Youth are wearing tonight at the Fall Festival.
Not alot to report on the diet front today except this ...Halloween Candy is the work of the Devil, I mean really!
Fun Size Candy can do some serious damage to your diet efforts. Sure I will have ONE little bitty Snickers...and one little tiny Butterfinger....and I guess one little small Hershey bar cant hurt, Right ?
But the next thing you know you got your head buried deep in a bag of Mary Janes and no end is in sight.....
Not for me this year though ....I enjoy Halloween and have for years but this year I will stick to having an apple or two dipped in some fat free caramel. I will enjoy the smell of the pumpkin bread that I baked but will grab a Fiber One bar instead of a slice. I will have another glass of water instead of a hot cup of Hot Chocolate.
Its a broken record and you will have to tell me to shut up but things are different this time for me and there is no looking back.
So to all you ghouls, witches and goblins out there ENJOY your night ...Have a Fun Size candy bar for me ...
Happy Halloween to Everyone !! Be Safe !!

In My Own Little Corner

2009-10-30T08:51:00.000-07:00
So....

I have to work today and will be out of pocket tonight but wanted to fill everyone in on my weigh in today ...
I lost 2.5lbs after last weekend of drinking really good beer and not staying on like I should...I have to say I was VERY pleased ...It also shows me that I can go off on a weekend and relax some and have a good time and STILL BE HONEST about my points and do fine. That was a big deal for me ...a test I guess
so as of today

Starting Weight-381lbs
Todays Loss-2.5lbs
Total to Date Loss-35.5
Todays Weight-346lbs

So yeah ...I am happy !!

Also thanks to everyone out there who gave me feedback on the gym question. I stopped this morning after weigh in and joined Planet Fitness. For me at this time its the best thing going. For $39.99 startup and $10.00 a month with NO CONTRACT...it was a no brainer right now.
Go to their site and see all their equipment. They got A TON of stuff for a much much lower cost...So I am excited.

Halloween post coming tomorrow but till then ...
Whats your favorite Halloween candy and scary movie ?

Just One Of Those Things

2009-10-29T19:48:00.000-07:00
So....

A quiet week here for me as far as dieting goes ....Last weekend in North Carolina I had my first beer in a long time....It was good and I enjoyed it but to be honest with you I felt pretty dang quilty afterwards. Silly ? Maybe...but it got me to thinking that I am in a different place than I once was ...
I will still have a beer from time to time and there is no pressure from any of my friends to have me drink on any level. I have made this choice and I am happy with it ...

Other Temptations ....
Food at a high school football game!!
I mean come on ...Grilled burgers that are nothing more than processed meat pressed into the shape of a hamburger patty. But oh so good....
SALTY popcorn...
Hot dogs....Yeah,....Mustard, kraut, little ketchup.

I have not weighed in 13 days ....Tomorrow I will go back ....I missed last week due to being in NC and this coming Saturday they are closed for some reason.
For some reason I am nervous about the beer last weekend catching up with me this week. Other wise I have been very good this week.

Fall Festival is coming this Saturday at DUMC....My costume is done and I gotta say its pretty kick butt. Pictures will be coming this weekend....

This post is all over the place tonight but its where my mind is right now ...
Yall have a great night

Do You Hear What I Hear ?

2009-10-27T20:12:00.000-07:00
So.....

I want some advice from you folks out there that read this blog....
Here is my thing...I am walking a couple of times a week. Usually about 5 times a week...I am enjoying it alot. The days I dont walk I used this small recumbant bike I have at home.
Here is my struggle...Do I start back at the gym or keep at it like I am going now.
I joined the Y back in the early spring but never got into a great habit of going....It was one thing or another that was keeping me from getting into a tight schedule but I really enjoyed my time while I was there....
I cancelled the Y at the end of the summer but am now thinking about joining back up somewhere. Somewhere I can go that adds a little variety to what I am now doing....
I will most likely be going to the gym in the morning ...I will most likely be going alone. I am cool with that since I am usually walking alone...
I dont think I will be going back to the Y.....They have too much going on there for me I think. Basketball, soccer,baseball,swimming,aerobics and on and on...
Plus its $45.00 per month for a single person. I have looked into Planet Fitness and they offer two plans
Plan A-You pay $39.99 signing fee and then $10.00 per month. No contract. No nothing.....you get to use their equipment and locker room. Thats it.
Plan B- You pay no signing fee but you are charged $19.99 per month with a 12 month contract. This gets you into the gym,steam room,massage chairs(forwhattheyareworth). Discounted drinks and such. Little perks.
SO what would YOU do dear reader ? Give me some feedback ...ask some questions...Speak to me ...

They Cant Take That Away From Me

2009-10-26T20:41:00.000-07:00
John,Lane, Steve, Jason and Nick....the men of Man Weekend In The Woods.
So.....

How yall been ? We had a great weekend in the woods last weekend. I think its safe to say that Man Weekend In The Woods was a great success and we are already looking towards next year to perhaps round two.

Of course I was a little worked up about the eating situation while away ....This was the first weekend I have not weighed in since I started and the first time I was away from a fairly structured eating schedule.

I did fine....

We went to the grocery store once we were in NC and we each bought a pile of stuff ....My pile was fairly healthy. ....Low fat...salad stuff, apples, low fat wheat thins....etc.

Did I eat perfect ? No.....but I managed to stay within my points and I am fine with that ....

sometimes you gotta dance with the one who brung ya, ya know?

I will weigh in this week and then our local WW place is closed on Saturday so that will put me next week weighing in again later than usual. THEN I go to Mobile over night for a thing and will miss yet another regular weigh in.....

Luckily they have plenty of other days that you can go and get weighed so not really a big deal for me ...

After a weekend in beautiful NC I am ready to get back into the swing of things and slide into fall times then into Christmas....Its gonna be a great end to a great year.

On a sad note....a young man by the name of Cole Ellis died on Monday morning. I did not know Cole but I know two of his friends from Trinity here in Montgomery. His family and his friends are absolutely devestated by this tragic turn of events...

Prayers would be appreciated for everyone dealing with this ....Thanks

North Carolina Is My Home

2009-10-22T22:04:00.000-07:00
So ........

Tomorrow we leave for Western North Carolina for what has been dubbed Man Weekend In The Woods.
Most of you out there know of my deep love for the hills of North Carolina. YOu know that I ache for that place when I am not there....I dream of it during the Summer. I long for it during the Fall and Winter.....
I know many of my readers out there also have a fondness for North Carolina ....You have travelled the same roads and highways. You have stopped and stayed in the same towns....
You have visited the same restaurants,shops and attractions. You have driven the Blue Ridge Parkway from Asheville to Mt Mitchell to Craggy Gardens to Blowing Rock and Boone.
And I dont mean to say that anyone out there has any less of an appreciation for the beautiful sites of counties such as Watauga,Buncombe,Avery than I do but .....
I feel at home when I cross that state line....I feel a comfort in my heart that I cannot explain to hardly anyone....I feel the strong ties to my family. The family that settled in the mountains in and around the town of Boone. The town where my grandfather was born and raised. The town I visited as a child.
I sleep well in North Carolina ....I live well in North Carolina....Tomorrow for me I go home once again...
Its just for a few days but I take what I can get. Perhaps my love would be dimished some if I actually lived there....Who knows.
Charles Kuralt wrote these words many years ago ....They eventually became a song about NC.

North Carolina is My home....Here where the Smokies rise......
Blossoms adorn the dogwood tree down on the old homeplace....
Tar on my heels feels good to me.....here in my state of grace.
Carolina raised me straight as a mountain pine. Rocked me in her cradle... Southern mother of mine.
North Carolina is my home ...Home far beyond all praise.
Goodliest home under heavens dome...here I shall spend my days

I will be out of pocket until Sunday night so the next message you get from me will be Monday perhaps....I wont weigh in this weekend since I will be out of town but will let yall know next week how I am doing.
Hope everyone has a great weekend ....Travelling pairs for the five(myself,Nick,Steve,Lane and John) of us are appreciated....
Peace

Taking Chances

2009-10-20T20:21:00.000-07:00
So......

At one point in my life about a year ago I gave serious thought to having GASTRIC BYPASS SURGERY! How did I resort to this. Could I not contain my hunger and weight gain.
Did I really think that i needed to have a surgery to monitor what I eat.
I talked to my doctor about it and he suggested I contact a doctor in Birmingham that performed the surgeries. I made the appointment and never went.
I couldn't get a surgery like that, I had to have some willpower.I knew it was deep down inside me..... I just had to pull it out.

I had someone tell me the other day that I could easily gain the weight back...and you are right I could. But I wont....You see for the first time in my life I have something more important to strive for than eating that extra piece of cake. Having that fried whatever. My life is more important than any of those things. I want to live a long life.
But heres the deal ....I like when folks tell me I might fail at this cause it gives me a new determination to show them how wrong they are going to be.
As I have said time and time before...This time its different for me....
Gnight folks

Blame It On The Boogie

2009-10-19T20:53:00.000-07:00
So.....

The one thing I learned early on as a youth director is accountability.
If something goes wrong during the time you are with the kids... it is your fault.
Not only is it your fault but you need to come up with the answer to make things right real quick
Some youth directors are not successful because they do not realize how important accountability is.
They want to blame their chaperones or parents for not doing their part.
They can not take the heat, they get defensive.....the truth is, the leader is always the one who will be held liable for actions, so the issues need to be resolved.
I am pretty decentl in my job because of my accountability.I would like to think that anyway....
I will easily take the blame for everything that goes wrong while I am in charge of something.

I am was good at taking the blame until I talked about my being overweight!

Until recently, if you were to ask me why I was so overweight, I would blame everyone!
By the way, everyone includes:
Willy Wonka
Jack Daniels
Aunt Jemima
Burger King
Mayor McCheese
Willy Wonka (if you want)
And so many more.It was not my fault that I ate all of the food, it was society's fault.
I had to eat a lot for Thanksgiving and other holidays, I just had to!. My job as a youth director entitled me to eat as much bad food as I wanted, pizza,fried things, fast food. It allowed me to have horrible eating schedules.I was in a bad mood, so it was okay to eat a lot. I justified everything!
When I started losing weight, I was scared. Scared that bad food would be in the house. Scared that I would eat fried food at youth stuff. Scared I would stay over 350 pounds for the rest of my life.
But you know what I was finally accountable for my weight loss, and had to realize that restaurants will not go away, Uncle Ben will always be at the supermarket, and my youth will not eat the way I do.
The world will not change for me, I have to change for it. So while working at the same church and being with the same folks and being with or around food, I have lost 33 pounds so far. With Blue Bell waving to me every time I pass the frozen section, I have lost 33 pounds so far.
There are no more excuses for my health. The economy is bad.... and there will be family situations throughout my lifetime. My job will be stressfull from time to time
But, it is nice to know I will be able to deal with all of these issues because I have gotten my life back.

Puttin' On The Ritz

2009-10-18T22:23:00.000-07:00
So......

I hate shopping for clothes....
You see I have to shop in the big and tall stores. Or the big and tall sections of stores. The selection is limited. They cost more....and add to that I just feel like crap when I am shopping for stuff.
See here's the deal....and this is a bit of a confession for me. I want to be that cool guy who dresses really nice. I want to wear stuff that they dont sell in the big and tall stores. I want to feel good about what I am wearing.....My dad ALWAYS dressed nice. .I want to dress nice like my dad.
Some of yall are saying " but you do dress nice"....And I appreciate that but I dont dress the way I want to ...and that bothers me ....makes me sad. See when you are overweight you have to get what will fit not what looks the best.
but thats changing...

Until about 10 weeks ago I did not have an option....and while I am still going to be buying from the big and tall stores for a while I am already thinking about the day when I can go in whatever store and buy and not even consider going to the big and tall section. Right now I am going to invest in a good tailor to take some things in ...

THis all excites me ...I am excited to buy a suit for the first time in my life, well the first one since I wore a pastel suit at Easter in 1982(suprising I know). I am excited to buy nicer clothes online from a place and know they will fit and not have to send them back

This is small thing that I am excited about ...I also think I might do a Blog post series about what I am looking forward to in the future ...
Thats all I got tonight
Peace
AND .....

What are you excited about today?

A New Born Feeling

2009-10-18T05:21:00.000-07:00
So.....

My apologies for not posting Friday or Saturday but both days found me pretty busy and away from the computer.
I went on Saturday to weigh in and sound that I had lost another 3lbs!!

To Date

Starting Weight-381 lbs
Saturdays Loss-3 lbs
Loss to Date- 33 lbs
Weight Today- 348.5

I am once again very proud of myself and what I have managed to do in the last few weeks. I start week Ten today and its hard to believe that 9 WEEKS have already flown by....AND getting below that 350 mark was a huge psychological thing for me ...YAY. If you ahve ever been to the doctor then you know that their scales typically only go up to 350. That was always a source of embarassment for me...Not any more!

One great problem I have already run into is my clothes are starting to not fit me right at all.
My shirts are ok but my pants are getting way too baggy. Especially in the waist and thigh area...I can pull the waist tighter with my belt but then they gather in the waist area....I dont like that....SO I either need to go see someone about having them altered or buy some new pants at least. I know when you start changing a pair of pants there is only so much you can do before the total fit and look of those pants changes.
Any suggestions from you montgomery folks as to where I should take my stuff? A good seamstress? Tailor?
Let me know
Have a great weekend
Peace and Love

There are Worst Things I Could Do

2009-10-15T23:54:00.001-07:00

So ....

Here is my thought right now after my last posting ...I think that frozen meals, while not the best, are ok when used in moderation. I dont think we should eat one for lunch...one for dinner ..EVERY DAY. Thats just too much processed food.

I think that natural healthy foods are the way to go for the most part but sometimes you do eat these meals.

I balance mine out by only having one or two weight watchers meals a week. I add to that and those meals a salad and fruit.

I have started buying better selections of fruit...veggies etc .I have been to the health food store to check on things like gluten free breads and natural unprocessed honey. I am making a much bigger effort than I was a mere 2 months ago....

For me its baby steps ...

Perhaps in a few months I will decide to stop the once or twice a week eatings of these meals....

Maybe not....They might be a regular thing for me ...something that gets me through. I just dont know....

For me I know this though ...I am comfortable with having them in moderation. Just like I have diet coke still.....I am drinking TONS AND TONS of water but I still have a DC from time to time ...or a Diet Dr Pepper.

Our Love Is Here To Stay

2009-10-14T21:23:00.000-07:00

So......

Wow what a Wednesday !! Couple of things right off that bat then I am gonna get into the meat of things ...

Today was our churches Charge Conference...Glad thats over.

I cooked supper for church tonight. It turned out ok. Was not that pleased with the main dish but folks seemed to enjoy it.

A former youth of mine had a really bad car accident early Wednesday morning. Looking at the car and knowing all the details about the wreck its hard to imagine that he walked away from it. But he did...has a broken nose and beat up pretty bad but hes alive. Very lucky kid.

I have felt just kinda weird today. Just gross feeling for some reason ...not sure what it is but its there

I have a slight food addiction that I want to talk about tonight....I love Mayo. LOVE IT! Before joining weight watchers a few weeks back we could literally go through a jar in a week. No problem! Thats just bad...When i would make a sangwich ...I would put SOOOO much mayo on the bread it was sickening. But this disease only really existed at my home. I never did it much out in public. But while home...watch out Kraft and Hellmans.

Here is how bad it was at home ...I would make a sangwich and then put a huge drop of mayo on my plate to DIP the sangwich in....UGH. I would also put mayo on or use mayo in the following ways ..

Dip potato chips in it.

Dip fries in it.

Put it on my steak.

Once used it and only it to make a sangwich.

Remember one time dipping a cookie in it to see what it tasted like.

Wondered what it would taste like frozen.

Thats just a few of them ......after 2 months on Weight Watchers I am happy to say that the mayo consumption is WAY down. I used to use a spoon to get mayo out but now I use a knife or measuring spoon. I cant remember the last time I bought a jar of mayo ...Its been that long. Maybe two months....I still love mayo and will always use it but the using it in different quantities.

So heres my question to you tonight ......What do you have in your life that is along the same lines as my mayo addiction?

Share and let us all know

Peace and goodnight

When You Wish Upon A Star

2009-10-13T12:02:00.000-07:00
So.....

A guy, whos blog i read posted something along these lines the other day and it also got me to thinking....

Dont you wish....

You could really blame fast food for your weight gain.
You could gain muscle without working out.
You never had to exercise.
A diet pill really worked with no side affects.
The media would focus on things that matter not Jon and Kate or David Letterman.
You could eat pizza and crap and it did not cause weight gain but fruit did. LOL

While we keep wishing on these things ..lets remember these things

Smart choices, courage, being happy with a .2 pound loss, confidence, some sort of fitness...These things can make your dreams come true as far as weight loss is concerned. Never forget that....
I keep it in the front of my mind at all times...

Tomorrow I am going to touch on a mild food addiction I used to have....I am in recovery now but the story bears repeating ...Till then

Peace

Get Down On Your Knees and Pray

2009-10-12T20:13:00.000-07:00
So.....

I do not mind sacrificing certain foods.

I know the end result....problem I have found with people and myself included is that we think that weight loss will come to them. It wont ...You have to find it and work for it ...
We will wake up, read a motivational quote on Twitter, and everything will come into play."Ohhhh, I get it now!".........Well, it is not like that.
There are hard choices. Sometimes it is not popular with your friends or family or co-workers.
It is easy to drink beer with the guys. It is hard to tell them no.
It is easy to eat your church memebers brownies. It is hard to tell someone to give them away.
It is easy to watch TV. It is hard to go to the gym day in and day out or go walking when you are tired.
This is a lifelong commitment, not something for a couple of weeks.....Anyone can lose six pounds in a week. Eat like crap five days, eat less the sixth, take off your shoes, get naked and jump on the scale on the seventh.You are not fooling anyone!
It gets easier but it is how much you put into it....... Just because you do well one day does not mean you can eat what you want the next two days.
Weight loss is funny. Just when you think you understand it, it hits you in the face.

My Brother Lived in San Francisco

2009-10-11T22:06:00.000-07:00
So.....

Today was busy and to be honest with you after a long night of discussion of all things political I just dont have it in me to write a long post about all things weight loss...except this...
It makes me feel great to have an 89 year old man telling me how proud he is of me and my success so far....
I am still working on trying to decide whats the best way to post my inches lost stuff ...
any suggestions ??

More in depth stuff tomorrow night guys and gals ...I promise

peace and love

One Way Out

2009-10-10T16:54:00.000-07:00
So.....

Well....Not alot today....Its been a low key laid back Saturday afternoon spent with friends around the TV watching college football. Auburn lost...Alabama won. If I was looking for something to get me to drinking a stiff drink.... I think I could easily point to Auburn and the way they planned. WOW ...

Today was weigh in day at Weight Watchers and here are the results. I lost another 3.5 lbs!!!
Who has two thumbs and is excited ??? THIS GUY !!!!
I cannot begin to tell everyone out there in the world how friggin excited I am to have lost that much this week AND to know that it brings my 8 week total up to 30lbs!!!!
How great is that ....?? I am gonna brag a bit ...I am very proud of myself. I am pleased with how I have so far said no to the temptations (and The Drifters ) I have been able to make the right choices when I have eaten out. I have managed to keep myself accountable. I have gotten a TON of help from my friends and family. THANKS to everyone but mainly thanks to myself for showing ME that I can do this and can continue ....
So....to date

Starting Weight-381 lbs
Lost today - 3.5 lbs
Total To Date- 30 lbs
Todays Weight - 351 lbs.

There is only one way for me ...and its in the direction that I am headed. My health and well being are finally for the first time dictating whats best for me and you know what ...I like it.

Thats all I have for tonight ....I am content right now.

Peace

Peace.

Tangerine

2009-10-08T19:25:00.000-07:00

So......

Lets talk for a brief minute about fiber. We all need it but many of us dont get near the daily amount that we should.

I know you are thinking POOP!! And yeah you will be more regular but its sooooo important.

Snacks now are pretty easy for me right now. Since I have been eating better for the last two months, fruits have been a big part of my healthy diet. Until recently I can honestly say I have never snacked on any fresh fruit.No, not really .... I have snacked on an apple or banana here or there ...maybe a grape or two but never alot of "food in the raw"

Fiber in fruit??? I thought only prunes had fiber. Boy way I wrong! Raspberries strawberries oranges apples pears, etc. all have between 4-8 grams of fiber per serving. With fruit, now it was easy to maintain my goal of 35g of fiber a day. So my snacking is mainly fruit now ...

And with that I get a ton of fiber.

And guess what? I feel better, and more full. So now, I am a big fruit advocate.

Water and fruit will fill you up big time folks ....So tomorrow I will not be posting since I will be away in Birmingham for the evening but have a great weekend and I will see yall on Saturday

As Time Goes By

2009-10-07T20:25:00.000-07:00
So......

I have decided that I am not a fan of The Biggest Loser. But as a general rule I am not a fan of any show that has alot of yelling and cussing at folks. Its degrading. And before anyone jumps in here ...I know that being fat and overweight has its own degrading aspects but bullying someone into weight loss is not going to do it for me....
I think Jillian and Bob really mot likely have the best interests of the contestants at heart. But you have to remember they are on a game show. Its reality TV.
There are not many places you could go or many diets you could follow on your own and lose at much weight in one week. Add to that that many if not most doctors will tell you that its dangerous to be doing just that.
The producers and the directors of this show are playing for ratings....
Getting in shape is a huge deal ....eating better is a big deal ...but the only thing I see when I tune is NBC/Universal getting fatter in the bank.
If you watch only for entertainment ...then fine. If folks are watching at home thinking "Wow, Thats what I need to be doing...almost killing myself to drop my weight" Then thats scary to me ...
I will lose weight the way i am doing it now ...2lbs here ....3lbs here ...walking at night and doing some other excercise at home with what I got now. As times goes by I will add in things here and there but for Gods sake ....Dont yell at me .

The Age of Not Believing

2009-10-06T12:38:00.000-07:00
So.....

I have my fans cheering me on.
I am thrilled to let folks know the small steps of progress I have been making ...My whole life is different and I know i might sound like a broken record
When I started this diet I had this fear that I would be missing something
I hated the thought of "depriving" myself of certain foods.Yet, I have already come to the realiazation that I have never deprived myself...not yet anyway. I am just altering the way I eat.
I have always been a "weird" eater. Ask any of my friends and they will tell you that ....I could go days without giving a thought to food. Some folks live for breakfast and look forward to lunch and crave dinner. Not me....its just a means to and end basically.
Now I am working on making changes that will be with me for life.
That is why this blog is so important to me. I need it!
I have had to forgive myself for getting to 381 pounds, but I will NEVER forget.
I will not forget the humiliation or struggles. How much I put myself through these past years as a fat man ...
The future looks bright ...

I do not need to be the most popular, just honest with myself . I am guessing I will have small victories and some disasters along the way ....but its all forward progress for me. I have stepped fully into making my life better...This is only the first step. Whats next ?? You are just going to have to stay tuned and find out....
As the late Jim Fyffe used to say " we've got out laces tightened and our eyes blackened...lets get this started"

I am thinking that Thanksgiving will be easy for me, and so will every holiday perhaps.
Every day I will work harder to excercise more and eat healthier .....Its a new me. Just going to take time to get where I want to be

But you know what ?...I have a nice feeling of peace right now about all of this and where this is all going ....

You're Nobody Till Somebody Loves You

2009-10-05T20:34:00.000-07:00
So....

This is what I think about low fat foods. I like um....
I have had to change the way I look at food.
I have portion issues, which are better, but will never be cured.
There is a difference between eating a head of cauliflower and a gallon of "low-fat" ice cream. If you have this issue do not try to fool yourself.
I sometimes do think that one mistake might ruin me.
I hear and read about people having 8000 calorie nights with ice cream, cake and pizza. I have also seen how hard it is for them to get back on track. I can not do that. Not now, not ever.
I have had those days before and I know how hard it is to get back on track. Not again.
I know that drinking water means nothing if I eat like crap.
I know that walking for 3 miles means nothing if I eat 10,000 calories.
I have to stay on my points. If not, I will be fooling myself like I have for almost thirty-six years.
I need to do this Every. Single. Day.
I have too many people who want me to succeed. Myself included
I will not fail!

G'night all ...

Dont Know Why

2009-10-04T18:54:00.000-07:00
So ......

I have managed to increase the readership of my blog. I am happy about that...I am glad if someone gets something from these posts....its Great to hear that.

One of the main questions I keep getting is why now? Why Now ? WHY NOW ?
Why have I decided at this point that its time to get serious about my health....I dont know why or have ONE reason but here goes

Here are a few things....
I felt bad.
I struggled to sit in a airplane seat.
The clothes I had fit tight and the closet was full of stuff I had not worn in years.
I was scared.
I was tired of being worried about whether or not I could sit in a booth at a restaurant.
I want to see my nephews get older and graduate. Get Married
I want to buy clothes in the regular section of stores. Big and Tall comes with a BIGGER pricetag
Seeing my Dad die from a massive heart attack and stroke is not something I want to see repeated with me. I could have those genes naturally but I am going to do all I can to lower my risk and get my heart in a good place
I looked bad.
I was tired of feeling tired.
I sweat alot...ugh its just gross.
Dream to hike the AT. Part or all will do
I have two beautiful goddaughters that will need me to spoil them with toys and books and trips to the movies.
I got alot of living left to do
So there ya go ....just a few things ...more might be added later...
One more thing ..a few things to always remember when you are trying to survive a zombie infested America....Rule number 2-Double Tap and Rule number 3-Never trust a bathroom.

Can't Fight This Feeling

2009-10-03T08:38:00.000-07:00
So....

Its Saturday and I have a busy day planned....A good friend is in town and we are spending the day together doing stuff and catching up ..
Also, I have been collecting low fat/calorie recipes for the past few weeks and have pulled out a couple that I want to try. Several if not all are "fall" related....Pumpkin-Cranberry Bars, Pumpkin Squash Soup,etc. So I am excited to try out some new stuff ....
Also there is a full day of football watching to be had....

Went for weight in today and here is where I stand today

Start Weight-381lbs
Todays Loss-2.5lbs
Todays Weight-354.5lbs
Total loss to date-26.5lbs

So a good day so far .....another thing I am going to add in the near future is my measurments. Waist, legs, chest etc. and update that on a monthly basis perhaps. I also want to start adding some pictures here and there of the results of my loss.
IN other happy news I started about two weeks ago using a belt that I ahve not used in a good long while ...and last night (friday) I had to move it down to another notch. Double Win I say ...

Have a great weekend.

A Funny Thing Happened On the Way To the Forum

2009-10-02T15:58:00.000-07:00
Something funny I found out in the space known as the intrawebs ...enjoy. Funny things POSSIBLY overheard at the gym.

“I once had an out-of-body experience on that piece of equipment.”
“Wheeww… maybe I shouldn’t have donated blood right before my workout…”
“I couldn’t afford gel insoles so I filled my sneakers with chocolate pudding.”
“Y’know, if I could be any kind of animal in the world, I’d be a mammal.”
“Skateboarding on a treadmill is more exercise than it looks.”
“I’m just curious: what’s your social security number?”
“Excuse me… do you know where this gym’s smoking section is located?”
“I did 500 virtual jumping jacks this morning.”
“Mind if I change the TV to The Incontinence Channel?”
“Wanna see me make my muscle pop up?”
“Who filled my water bottle with Milk of Magnesia? Oh wait... I did."
“I have about 8,000 songs on my iPod, but they’re all Ricky Martin’s “Livin’ La Vida Loca.”
“You know what this gym needs? A Moon Bounce!”
“Aren’t these workout gloves soft? They’re made out of human skin.”
“I’m training for a 0K marathon.”
“Wow, the women’s locker room has a lot fewer urinals than the men’s.”
“Want a piece of my garlic-onion-banana gum?”
“Excuse me, but what’s a good exercise for your headtoid muscles?”
“Man, my thong is riding up.”
“You know, when I finish my workout, I feel like a beautiful butterfly.”
“My name’s Jack, but you can call me Zsa Zsa.”

See yall tomorrow